Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition, correct small grammar issues, and make the answer more concise and natural. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one brief supporting detail using a linking phrase. Avoid repeating words (e.g., "the the").

例: Yes, I do. I try to keep both my personal and work spaces neat; for example, I always arrange files and folders in clearly labeled sections so I can find things quickly.

提案: Improve grammar (tense and subject-verb agreement), make the sequence clear, and limit hesitations. Start with a direct answer, then explain briefly with a linking word (e.g., "because" or "but").

例: Not really. My mother usually helped me tidy my room when I was young, but I learned to enjoy organizing myself as I grew older.

提案: Remove filler sounds and repetitions, use varied vocabulary, and follow the topic-support structure. Give one specific routine and use linking words to add clarity.

例: I keep it simple: after each study session I clear the desk and return pens and books to their designated places, so the space is ready for the next time.

提案: Avoid repetition and hesitations, and make your reasoning more specific. State your opinion, then give one clear reason and a brief example or result using linking words (e.g., "because", "therefore").

例: Yes. Being tidy is important because it helps me plan and manage time better; for instance, when my desk is organized I can find materials quickly and stick to my schedule.

× The the files and the folder need to be structured in very organized and tidy way.

✓ The files and the folders need to be structured in a very organized and tidy way.

The sentence contains a repeated article 'The the' and inconsistent singular/plural forms ('files' plural and 'folder' singular). Use 'the' once and make number consistent: 'files and folders'. Also add the article 'a' before 'very organized' to form 'a very organized and tidy way.'

× Not really, when I was a child my mother always helps me to keep my room tidy.

✓ Not really. When I was a child, my mother always helped me to keep my room tidy.

The sentence mixes past time reference ('when I was a child') with present tense 'helps'. Use past tense 'helped' to match the past time frame. Also separate into two sentences and add a comma after the introductory clause for clarity.

× Uh, keeping everything well organised is a hobby that I learned when I grow up.

✓ Uh, keeping everything well organised is a hobby that I learned when I grew up.

The clause 'when I grow up' refers to past learning, so it should be in the past tense 'grew up' to agree with 'learned'. Use consistent past tense for completed past actions.

× I think I do it pretty, pretty simple.

✓ I think I do it pretty simply.

'Simple' is an adjective but needs an adverb to modify the verb 'do'. Use the adverb 'simply'. Also remove the repeated 'pretty' or keep a single 'pretty' if mild emphasis is intended: 'pretty simple' (adjective) would be correct if referring to 'it is simple', but here 'do it simply' fits better.

× Uh, every time when I finish my work and finish my study, I just, uh, put everything in the right place, put the pen in the right place, put the book in the right place.

✓ Uh, every time I finish my work and my studies, I just put everything in the right place: the pens in their place and the books on their shelf.

Remove unnecessary 'when' after 'every time'. Use plural 'studies' or 'study' consistently; 'my studies' is more natural. Repetition can be reduced for clarity; also use correct plural forms 'pens'/'books' and appropriate prepositions like 'on' for 'shelf'.

× Yes, umm, I think keeping everything well organised is the first way, is the first step to uh, make your life, uh, well organised.

✓ Yes, umm, I think keeping everything well organised is the first step to making your life well organised.

Redundant phrase 'is the first way, is the first step' should be simplified to 'is the first step'. After 'step to' use the gerund 'making' rather than the base verb 'make'. Remove extra commas and hesitations for clarity.

× You can know, uh, you can plan what will happen in the future and so on, so on.

✓ You can see that you can plan what will happen in the future, and so on.

'You can know' is awkward; 'you can see' or 'you will know' are better depending on meaning. Keep tense consistent: 'you can plan what will happen' is acceptable; streamline repetition 'so on, so on' to a single 'and so on.'