Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific example using correct verb forms and prepositions. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" and avoid filler sounds (umm).

例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy because I am an organized person and my parents encouraged tidiness when I was growing up. For example, I always put my keys and wallet on a small tray by the door so I can find them easily.

提案: Answer directly with correct tense and clearer phrasing. Use one linking phrase (e.g. "for example" or "so") and give a specific concrete detail. Correct common errors: "used to" for past habits, "place" not "pace", and avoid extra words.

例: Yes, I used to keep my room tidy as a child. For example, I always put my books back on the shelf and put toys in a box after playing, so my room stayed neat.

提案: Use present simple for habitual actions and be specific about methods. Remove fillers and unclear words like "fighting" (maybe you meant "finding"). Use linking words such as "for example" or "by" to connect ideas.

例: I keep my study space tidy by clearing my desk at the end of each day. For example, I file papers in folders and store pens and devices on a shelf, which helps me find things quickly.

提案: Give a clear opinion sentence and one concise reason. Avoid repetitions and fillers. Use correct phrasing like "develop tidy habits" and provide a specific benefit with a linking word such as "because" or "so".

例: Yes, I think it is necessary to be tidy because it saves time and reduces stress. For example, if you develop tidy habits, you can find documents or equipment quickly when you need them.

× Yes, I am organized person so I always try keep it the thing in that pace and my parents encourage me umm tidiness when I was growing up and now it's it's my habit.

✓ Yes, I am an organized person, so I always try to keep things in their place, and my parents encouraged me to be tidy when I was growing up; now it is a habit.

Pronoun and article errors: 'an organized person' needs the article 'an'. 'Keep it the thing in that pace' is incorrect; use 'keep things in their place' with plural 'things' and possessive pronoun 'their'. Verb tense: 'encourage' should be past 'encouraged' to match 'when I was growing up'. Also add infinitive 'to be tidy'. Punctuation and filler words removed for clarity. Suggestion: use articles before singular nouns, match pronouns to their antecedents, and align verb tense with time expressions.

× For example, I always put my key and wallets on umm tray by the.

✓ For example, I always put my keys and wallet on a tray by the door.

Singular/plural and article problems: 'key and wallets' mixes singular and plural awkwardly; use 'keys and wallet' or better 'my keys and wallet' or 'my key and wallet'. Also 'on umm tray' needs an article 'a tray'. The fragment 'by the.' likely intended 'by the door'. Suggestion: maintain consistent singular/plural and include articles for countable nouns.

× Yes, when I was shy I wore a tidy person, so after I used something finished I always put it back in the same pace.

✓ Yes, when I was young I was a tidy person, so after I finished using something I always put it back in the same place.

Incorrect word choice and tense: 'shy' is wrong for age; use 'young'. 'Wore a tidy person' is incorrect verb use; use 'was a tidy person'. Sequence of actions: 'after I used something finished' should be reordered to 'after I finished using something'. 'Pace' should be 'place'. Suggestion: choose words that match meaning, use correct verb 'was' for past state, and place verbs in natural order.

× For example, I always return my books to the shelf by myself or my toys to the box that help keep my room very.

✓ For example, I always return my books to the shelf myself or my toys to the box; that helps keep my room tidy.

Article and structure issues: 'the shelf' is acceptable but 'by myself' is redundant—'myself' or 'by myself' works; 'to the box' should be fine. The clause 'that help keep my room very' lacks an adjective and incorrect verb form: use 'helps' for third-person singular and 'tidy' as adjective. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement ('that helps') and complete the adjective ('tidy').

× I am a tidy person so I always clear my days after I finished work.

✓ I am a tidy person, so I always clear my desk after I finish work.

Wrong noun and tense: 'clear my days' is incorrect; likely 'clear my desk'. Tense mismatch: 'after I finished work' should be present simple 'after I finish work' to match habitual present 'I always'. Suggestion: use correct collocations ('clear my desk') and maintain consistent tense for habitual actions.

× Umm like I order paper in a folder and put equipment in the shelf or in in that place.

✓ I organize papers in a folder and put equipment on the shelf or in their proper place.

Preposition and pluralization errors: 'order paper in a folder' should be 'organize papers in a folder'. Use 'on the shelf' not 'in the shelf' for most shelves. 'In in that place' is repetitive; use 'in their proper place'. Suggestion: choose correct prepositions ('on the shelf') and match singular/plural.

× So it helped me fighting quickly and easily.

✓ So it helps me find things quickly and easily.

Incorrect verb and structure: 'helped me fighting' is ungrammatical. Use 'helps me find' for present habitual effect. 'Fighting' is wrong word; intended 'finding'. Tense should be present 'helps' to match habitual action. Suggestion: use 'help + object + infinitive' structure (helps me find).

× Yes, I think it's important to be a tidy person because if you want to, to find, uh, the document or the equipment, uh, easily you can, uh, you could be a tie, a tidy habit.

✓ Yes, I think it's important to be tidy because if you want to find a document or equipment easily, you should develop a tidy habit.

Modal and word choice: unnecessary commas and hesitations removed. 'You can, you could be a tie' is incorrect; use 'you should develop a tidy habit' to give clear advice. Also 'be a tidy person' can be simplified to 'be tidy'. Suggestion: use appropriate modal verbs for advice ('should') and concise wording.

× So this is important for everyone. Mm-hmm.

✓ So this is important for everyone.

Extraneous filler: 'Mm-hmm' is a filler sound, not part of the sentence. Remove filler for clarity. Sentence structure otherwise fine. Suggestion: avoid filler sounds in formal speech.