Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear, relevant and well structured with a topic sentence and a supporting example. Improve by using slightly more natural phrasing (avoid 'for search' and repeat words) and a linking phrase to conclude. Keep sentences concise and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'locate' instead of 'find').

例: Yes, I do. I keep my workspace and living area tidy because it helps me concentrate. For example, when everything is in its place I can quickly locate a book or my keys in the morning, so I avoid wasting time. As a result, I start the day more calmly and productively.

提案: Good direct response with background detail. Improve by correcting small grammar (remove duplicate 'to'), simplify awkward phrasing ('install a sense of responsibility' -> 'teach me responsibility'), and add a linking word to connect sentences. Avoid unnecessary age precision unless it adds value.

例: Yes, I did. My parents taught me responsibility from a very young age, so I had to keep my room tidy. For example, from about age three I was given simple chores each week, which helped me develop good habits.

提案: Your main idea is clear but there are grammatical errors and awkward phrasing ('its places', tense inconsistency, extra 'it'). Improve by using correct pronouns ('their places'), consistent tenses, and linking words to explain result. Keep to fewer sentences and make the result explicit.

例: I return items to their proper places after using them, so my workspace stays organized. As a result, I rarely need an intensive weekend clean—usually just a quick general tidy-up.

提案: Strong content with reasons and reference to research, but avoid filler ('Uh') and vague phrasing ('leads to disorders'). Provide more specific examples of mental effects and use linking words for clarity. Keep sentence count within limit and vary vocabulary ('unsanitary'/'cluttered' instead of 'messier').

例: Yes, I do. Keeping things tidy is important for physical health because unsanitary environments can spread germs and increase illness risk. Moreover, living in a cluttered space can raise stress and anxiety levels, which affects overall wellbeing.

× For example, it's easier to find a book I need for my studies or my keys in the morning so I don't waste time for search.

✓ For example, it's easier to find a book I need for my studies or my keys in the morning, so I don't waste time searching.

Incorrect use of preposition 'for' with 'search'. Use the gerund 'searching' after 'waste time' instead of 'for search'. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'so' connecting clauses.

× Yes, I used to to keep my room tidy even as a child because my parents wanted to install a sense of responsibility in me from about the age of 3.

✓ Yes, I used to keep my room tidy even as a child because my parents wanted to instill a sense of responsibility in me from about the age of three.

There is a repeated 'to' ('used to to') which is incorrect; remove the extra 'to'. Also the verb 'install' is incorrect in this context; the correct verb is 'instill' meaning 'to implant an attitude'. Spell out small numbers in formal speech optionally ('three').

× So starting from then, I was given a few chores each week as my responsibility.

✓ So from then on, I was given a few chores each week as my responsibility.

The phrase 'starting from then' is awkward. Use 'from then on' to indicate continuation. The rest of the sentence is acceptable.

× I try to keep my workspace and living space organized by returning things to its places after I use them.

✓ I try to keep my workspace and living space organized by returning things to their places after I use them.

Mixed reference: 'things' is plural, so the possessive pronoun must be 'their' (not 'its'). Ensure pronoun agrees in number with its antecedent.

× It reduced times I need to tidy up on the weekend so I just have to finish general cleaning and it I will be done.

✓ This reduces the times I need to tidy up on the weekend, so I only have to finish general cleaning and then I will be done.

Original sentence has tense inconsistency ('reduced' past vs present context) and odd phrasing ('it I will be done'). Use present tense 'reduces' to match habitual action. Replace 'times I need' with 'the times I need' or 'how often I need' (here 'reduces the times I need' is acceptable). Change 'so I just have to finish general cleaning and it I will be done' to 'so I only have to finish general cleaning and then I will be done' for correct structure and clarity.

× Yes, I think keeping things tidy is necessary for health because researchers have shown that dirty environments spread germs and increase the risk of illnesses.

✓ Yes, I think keeping things tidy is necessary for health because researchers have shown that dirty environments spread germs and increase the risk of illness.

'Illnesses' is acceptable, but 'illness' (uncountable) is more natural after 'risk of'. Use 'risk of illness' to refer generally to becoming ill.

× Uh, also, living in a messier space impacts our mental health negatively and leads to disorders.

✓ Also, living in a messy space negatively affects our mental health and can lead to disorders.

Replace informal hesitation 'Uh,' and awkward comparative 'messier' (no comparison needed) with 'messy'. Use 'affects' instead of 'impacts' for natural collocation, place adverb 'negatively' before the verb or use 'can lead to' to indicate possibility. Clarify 'disorders' by adding 'can' to indicate causation is not absolute.