Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more natural and concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with a linking word. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g., "I I", "is a shows", "good social degree"). Use accurate grammar (e.g., "committed to being organized") and relevant vocabulary (e.g., "considerate", "respectful"). Keep the answer within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I like to keep things tidy because it helps me stay organized and reduces stress. For example, when my desk is neat I can find documents quickly, which makes me more productive and considerate of other people who share the space.

提案: Answer directly, then give a clear reason with specific detail. Remove filler phrases like "you know" and repeated fragments. Correct grammar ("this was due to my mom's instructions") and use linking words (e.g., "because", "so") to connect ideas. Limit to 2–3 sentences and include a brief example of what your mother asked you to do.

例: Yes, I did. I used to keep my room tidy because my mother insisted on it; for instance, she expected me to make my bed every morning and put toys away before dinner, which taught me good habits.

× Yes, I I like to keep things tidy because it's a sign of good preparations and organization.

✓ Yes, I like to keep things tidy because it's a sign of good preparation and organization.

The sentence has a repeated word 'I I' and uses the plural noun 'preparations' awkwardly. 'Preparation' is an uncountable noun here and fits better. Remove the duplicate 'I' and use 'preparation' for natural usage. Suggestion: Delete the extra 'I' and use 'preparation' when referring to the general quality rather than distinct countable items.

× A person who's always committed to be organized and well prepared is a shows that he's a good social degree and also kind of respect for others when we used to organize things.

✓ A person who is always committed to being organized and well prepared shows that he has good social manners and respects others when organizing things.

Multiple errors: 'who's' contraction is fine but 'committed to be' is incorrect because 'committed to' must be followed by a noun or gerund, so 'being' is needed (Verb + -ing form, ID 8 also). 'is a shows' is ungrammatical (sentence structure error). 'a good social degree' is wrong word choice; 'social manners' fits. 'kind of respect' is vague; 'respects' (verb) is clearer. 'when we used to organize things' mixes tense; 'when organizing things' is concise. Suggestion: Use 'committed to being', remove extra verbs, choose appropriate nouns, and use gerund phrases for actions.

× Child yes, I used to keep my room tidy when I was a child, but this is this is referred to my mom instructions.

✓ Yes, I used to keep my room tidy when I was a child, but this was because of my mother's instructions.

'Child yes' is misplaced; start with 'Yes'. Repetition 'this is this is' should be removed. 'referred to my mom instructions' is incorrect: use 'because of' to show reason and possessive 'my mother's instructions'. Also maintain past tense 'was'. Suggestion: Place 'Yes' at start, remove repetitions, use 'because of' and possessive form.

× Are you? When I was a kid, my mom always pushed me to prepare things and keep things organized.

✓ When I was a kid, my mom always pushed me to prepare things and keep them organized.

'Are you?' is an irrelevant fragment in this context and should be removed. The pronoun 'things' repeated is fine but clearer to replace the second 'things' with 'them' for cohesion. Tense and meaning are appropriate. Suggestion: Remove the stray fragment and use pronouns to avoid repetition.

× Another thing, you know, it's a, you know, kind of home instruction.

✓ Another thing is that it was a kind of home instruction.

The original has filler phrases 'you know' disrupting structure and mixes present 'it's' with past context. Use 'it was' to match past narrative and make the clause explicit with 'that'. Suggestion: Remove filler words and use a clear connector 'that', match tense with surrounding sentences.

× So well prepared and well organized things that shows that you are in a good house.

✓ So being well prepared and organized shows that you are from a well-kept household.

Original is ungrammatical: missing participle 'being' and awkward noun phrase 'in a good house'. Use 'being well prepared and organized' as the subject and 'from a well-kept household' or 'from a good home' for natural expression. Also ensure subject-verb agreement: 'shows' matches singular subject. Suggestion: Use gerund phrase as subject, choose natural collocations like 'well-kept household' or 'good home'.