Tidiness— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples with linking words. Avoid repeating synonyms (neat, tidy, clean) and fix grammar (use possessive structures and prepositions). Aim for 2–4 sentences total.

例: Yes, I prefer to keep things tidy. For example, my bookshelf is always neatly arranged by genre and my clothes are organized in labeled sections in the closet, so I can find items quickly.

提案: Give a clear, past-focused topic sentence, then provide one specific example or brief anecdote. Use past tense correctly and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, when) to make it coherent and keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I have always kept my room tidy. When I was a child, I used to arrange my books by color on the shelf and put my school uniform in the same drawer every evening, which became a habit.

× Yes, I like to keep the things tidy.

✓ Yes, I like to keep things tidy.

Use of the definite article 'the' before a general plural noun is incorrect here. 'Things' is meant in general, so no article is needed. Remove 'the' to make it natural: 'keep things tidy.'

× My everything is neat and tidy and clean and my things are all always on their place.

✓ Everything of mine is neat, tidy, and clean, and my things are always in their places.

'My everything' is unnatural; use 'everything of mine' or simply 'everything.' Adverb order: 'all always' is redundant and incorrectly ordered — use 'always.' Preposition: use 'in' rather than 'on' for items being in places. Use plural 'places' to match 'things.'

× Perfect place.

✓ They are in the perfect place.

This fragment lacks a subject and verb. Expand to a full sentence to match context: 'They are in the perfect place.'

× Like I have a bookshelf and it contains a perfect nice clean and organized books in the shelf.

✓ I have a bookshelf and it contains perfectly nice, clean, and organized books on the shelf.

Use plural 'books' without extra article 'the' before 'shelf' and correct preposition: items are 'on the shelf.' Adjectives need commas and 'perfect nice' is awkward — 'perfectly nice' as an adverb modifying the quality, or better: 'neat, clean, and well-organized books.'

× And my jewelry is also organized.

✓ My jewelry is organized as well.

Original is acceptable but slightly informal. Moving 'also' to 'as well' at sentence end sounds more natural; this is optional but improves flow.

× My closet is also organized.

✓ My closet is organized as well.

Same as above: moving 'also' to 'as well' improves naturalness; not strictly required but stylistically better.

× My everything is organized in my room.

✓ Everything in my room is organized.

'My everything' is unnatural; place 'everything' before the prepositional phrase and drop possessive: 'Everything in my room.' This also removes redundancy 'my room' already indicates possession.

× Yes, since childhood it's my habit to keep my things and as well as my room neat, tidy and clean.

✓ Yes, since childhood it has been my habit to keep my things and my room neat, tidy, and clean.

Use present perfect 'has been' to express a habit continuing from the past to present after 'since childhood.' Also remove redundant 'as well as' and add parallel structure 'my things and my room.'

× And everything is on on its place where it's belonged.

✓ And everything is in its place where it belongs.

Use 'in' rather than 'on' for items occupying a place. Remove duplicate 'on.' Use present simple 'belongs' rather than past participle 'belonged' to describe where things belong now.

× And my bookshelf is also neat, tidy and organized.

✓ My bookshelf is neat, tidy, and organized as well.

Minor stylistic change: place 'as well' at end for natural flow; original is acceptable but this improves parallelism.

× My cupboard, it's also organized.

✓ My cupboard is also organized.

Original contains an unnecessary comma and pronoun 'it's' creating redundancy. Combine into a single clause: 'My cupboard is also organized.'

× My jewelry, my dressing table is everything is neat, tidy, clean and organized.

✓ My jewelry and my dressing table are all neat, tidy, clean, and organized.

Original has incorrect coordination and subject-verb agreement. Combine items with 'and' and use plural verb 'are.' Remove duplicate 'is' and add 'all' for clarity.