Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct grammatical errors, keep sentences concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. For example, fix subject–verb agreement ("is" → "it was") and avoid overstated phrases that don't add information.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. For example, I spent afternoons playing on the swings and climbing frames, and it was there that I met my best friend, who I have stayed close to ever since.

提案: This answer is natural and relevant but could be tightened and linked more smoothly. Use one topic sentence and then link supporting details with a linking phrase (e.g., "for example" or "often"). Avoid small redundancies like "I do still" → "I still" and "a meal or two."

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Often I walk there while listening to music, and sometimes I meet friends for a small picnic so we can eat and catch up.

提案: Make the response more structured: give a clear opinion then provide two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repeating the word "parks" too often by using pronouns or synonyms.

例: Yes, I would. Parks vary in scenery and atmosphere, which makes them interesting to explore, and they also provide good places to exercise and meet new people.

提案: Correct pronunciation and spelling errors ("packs" → "parks", names spelled correctly). Complete the thought and give a specific reason for wanting to visit each park. Keep to one clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details and avoid trailing off.

例: Yes, I have a few parks in mind, especially in London. For instance, I hope to visit Richmond Park because of its wide open spaces and wild deer, and Regent's Park because I’ve heard it has beautiful gardens and events.

× I did like going to the park as a child.

✓ I liked going to the park as a child.

Using 'did like' is more emphatic or conversational; for a simple past habitual action 'liked' is the correct past tense form. Use simple past to describe past habits: 'I liked'.

× I played a lot and is at the park where I met my best friend and we've been friends ever since.

✓ I played a lot and it was at the park where I met my best friend, and we've been friends ever since.

The clause 'is at the park' is incorrect because the subject 'it' (referring to 'it was there' or 'it was at the park') needs the past tense 'was'. Also add 'it' to refer to the situation or time. The conjunctions and comma placement are adjusted for clarity. Use 'was' for past location/state and maintain past tense consistency.

× She is the most wonderful person in the world and we did have a lot of fun at the park.

✓ She was the most wonderful person in the world and we had a lot of fun at the park.

The sentence mixes present tense 'is' with past events; when describing past experiences, use past tense 'was' and 'had'. 'Did have' is unnecessary; the simple past 'had' is correct and more natural.

× I do still like going to the park.

✓ I still like going to the park.

Using 'do' for emphasis is possible but unnecessary in a neutral answer. Removing 'do' produces the standard present simple 'I still like', which matches current preference.

× As an adult, I just go out to the park, I walk around listening to music.

✓ As an adult, I just go out to the park and walk around listening to music.

Two independent clauses joined by a comma create a comma splice. Use 'and' to connect the actions. The structure 'walk around listening to music' correctly uses the -ing form to indicate simultaneous action.

× Sometimes I go with my friends and we have a little picnic and share a meal or two and talk about life.

✓ Sometimes I go with my friends; we have a little picnic, share a meal or two, and talk about life.

The original contains repetitive 'and' connectors that make the sentence run-on. Use a semicolon or break into shorter clauses and use commas to list coordinated actions for clearer structure.

× I would like that because parks are different, the scenery, the ambiance, the way people meet new people too.

✓ I would like that because parks are different: the scenery, the ambiance, and the way people meet new people.

A colon or dash is more appropriate to introduce examples. Include 'and' before the final item in a list. Remove redundant 'too'. This corrects conjunction/list punctuation use.

× There are a few packs I have in mind I would like to visit in the future especially the parks in London.

✓ There are a few parks I have in mind that I would like to visit in the future, especially the parks in London.

Spelling error 'packs' should be 'parks'. Add the relative pronoun 'that' for clarity and a comma before 'especially' to separate clauses. 'Parks' is plural and requires 'a few parks'.

× I would like to visit the Datmond Pack and also the new Naton Park because I hear during the during

✓ I would like to visit the Diamond Park and also the new Naton Park because I heard that during the...

Corrected apparent spelling 'Datmond Pack' to 'Diamond Park' and 'Pack' to 'Park'. Use past tense 'heard' when reporting something you heard previously. The original ends abruptly; complete the clause (e.g., 'because I heard that during the summer it is beautiful'). Also remove duplicated 'during'.