Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect possessives. Use accurate plural/singular forms and articles.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, my family often took me there on weekends where I played games with my friends and ran around on the grass. Those visits helped me use up energy and make close friends.

提案: Answer directly and reduce hesitation words. Use one clear reason sentence and one specific supporting detail with linking words (for example, 'because' and 'so'). Correct countable/uncountable nouns and verb forms (work, maintenance).

例: Not really. I rarely go to parks these days because I am busy with work and my studies, and the nearby park is poorly maintained. As a result, it becomes overcrowded on weekends, so I usually prefer to relax at home.

提案: Be natural and avoid filler sounds. Use linking words like 'because' and 'also' correctly. Provide specific benefits and correct phrases (e.g., 'green spaces are good for relaxation and socialising'). Keep it to 2–3 sentences max.

例: Yes, definitely. I would like more parks because they allow me to exercise outdoors and enjoy fresh air, and they also provide pleasant green spaces for families to relax and socialise.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming the park, then add two specific details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., 'go jogging', 'people can exercise outdoors'). Avoid fillers and keep sentences natural and concise.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Dubai Miracle Garden. I have heard it contains thousands of flowers and many exotic butterflies, so it seems very colourful and peaceful. I would enjoy going there to go jogging and relax outdoors.

× Yes, I loved it all going to the gardens when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I loved going to the gardens when I was a child.

The phrase 'loved it all going' is ungrammatical and redundant. Remove 'it all' to form a correct verb phrase 'loved going'. Use parallel verb structure: 'loved going to the gardens'.

× I spent a good time with my friends and my family often took me on weekends.

✓ I had a good time with my friends, and my family often took me there on weekends.

Use 'had a good time' rather than 'spent a good time'. Add 'there' to indicate the place (the gardens). Insert a comma and conjunction for clarity and correct sentence flow.

× Also, gardens are a good places to use our energy and meet their kids.

✓ Also, gardens are good places to use our energy and meet other kids.

Mismatch between singular/plural: 'a good places' is wrong. Use 'good places'. 'Their kids' is incorrect reference; use 'other kids' to indicate children of other families.

× I especially remember playing.

✓ I especially remember playing there.

Add 'there' to clarify the location of the memory and make the sentence complete and natural. Without it the sentence is grammatical but less specific in context.

× No, I don't often go to the parks, umm, uh, these days because I am, uh, busy with works and the study also, uh, garden, uh, near to my home, uh, is not good there and the burly maintenance, uh, and they get overcrowded on weekends, so I prefer to relax.

✓ No, I don't often go to parks these days because I am busy with work and my studies. Also, the garden near my home is not well maintained and parks get overcrowded on weekends, so I prefer to relax at home.

Remove unnecessary definite article: 'go to the parks' should be 'go to parks' or 'go to the park' depending on meaning; here general 'parks' is better. 'Works' is wrong; use uncountable 'work'. 'The study' should be 'my studies'. 'Garden near to my home' -> 'the garden near my home'. 'Burly maintenance' is incorrect; use 'not well maintained'. Sentence was run-on; separate into clearer sentences and fix reference 'they get overcrowded' -> 'parks get overcrowded'.

× Definitely, yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, uh, because I can uh, exercise outdoors and uh, get uh, fresh air.

✓ Definitely. Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I can exercise outdoors and get fresh air.

Remove filler words and unnecessary commas. The original is mostly correct but improve phrasing and remove extra punctuation. No major preposition error beyond punctuation; corrected for fluency.

× Also, we can meet uh, our family and their friends there and uh, umm, green is based good for relaxation and socialize.

✓ Also, we can meet our family and their friends there, and being surrounded by greenery is good for relaxation and socializing.

Pronoun 'their' is acceptable for 'family' but phrase 'green is based good' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'being surrounded by greenery' or 'the greenery' and use gerund 'socializing'. Ensure parallel gerund forms: 'relaxation and socializing'.

× Yes, I would like to visit the Dubai Medical Garden.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Dubai Medical Garden.

Sentence is correct for expressing future desire with 'would like to'. No grammatical change needed; included for completeness.

× I've heard it has thousands of flowers and many butterflies from different countries.

✓ I've heard it has thousands of flowers and many butterflies from different countries.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'I've heard' and simple present 'has' are appropriate for reported general facts. No change required.

× Uh, also I can uh, jogging and they can uh, exercise outdoor.

✓ Also, I can go jogging there, and others can exercise outdoors.

'Can jogging' is incorrect; modal verb 'can' must be followed by base form 'go' + gerund or 'jog'. Use 'go jogging' or 'jog'. 'They can exercise outdoor' should be 'exercise outdoors' and clarify reference: 'others' or 'people'.

× It's uh, a peaceful place.

✓ It's a peaceful place.

Original sentence is correct aside from fillers. Use 'a peaceful place' which is grammatically correct. Removed filler 'uh,'.