Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, sentence boundaries and clarity. Give a clear topic sentence, then 1–2 supporting details with correct tense and word choice. Use linking words like "because" or "so" and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I spent hours on the swings and slides with my friends, and my parents often took me on weekend picnics, so parks were a perfect place to burn off energy and meet other children.

提案: Fix incomplete sentences and reduce repetitions. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add concise reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "so") and specific examples.

例: Not really, I rarely go to parks now because I'm busy with work and studies. I prefer indoor activities such as going to the gym or watching movies, and the local parks are poorly maintained, so I don't feel motivated to visit them.

提案: Avoid fragmented sentences and correct modal/word order errors. Give one clear opinion then support it with 1–2 specific reasons and a linking word like "because" or "however".

例: I don't think we need more parks in my city because I rarely visit them myself. Instead, I would prioritize improving public transport and building more schools, which would benefit more people.

提案: Correct tense and article usage, remove repetition, and use a clear plan with linking words. Provide specific details about activities you would do there.

例: Yes, I would like to visit a new park that just opened in my city because I heard it has beautiful gardens and a big lake. I plan to go there to relax, get fresh air, and perhaps try jogging or cycling around the lake.

× Absolutely, I love going to parks as a child I remember spending hours on the swings and sliders with my friends and my parents would I often take me for picnics on weekends.

✓ Absolutely, I loved going to parks as a child. I remember spending hours on the swings and slides with my friends, and my parents would often take me for picnics on weekends.

The sentence mixes present tense 'I love' with 'as a child' which refers to the past. Use past tense 'loved' to match the time frame. 'Sliders' is incorrect; use 'slides'. The phrase 'my parents would I often take me' is ungrammatical; correct to 'my parents would often take me'. Also add punctuation to separate ideas. ID:6

× Parks where the perfect pace of burn off energy and meet others kids.

✓ Parks were the perfect place to burn off energy and meet other kids.

Use 'were' (past tense of be) not 'where'. 'Pace' should be 'place'. Use the infinitive 'to burn' after 'place' and 'other' not 'others' before 'kids'. This fixes word choice and grammar. ID:13

× So I have a lot of great memories from this time those time.

✓ So I have a lot of great memories from that time.

The phrase repeats 'this time' and 'those time' causing number and reference errors. Use one correct demonstrative 'that' to refer to the past period and plural agreement is not needed. Also keep tense consistent. ID:12

× No, I don't really go to parks anymore. I am quite busy with work and studies and to be honest I am.

✓ No, I don't really go to parks anymore. I am quite busy with work and studies, and to be honest I am.

This sentence is incomplete and the trailing 'I am' is awkward but not a clear grammar category from the list; however tense is present and fine. Adding a comma clarifies structure; to fully fix meaning, complete the thought (e.g., 'I am tired'). Given instruction to only correct listed types, punctuation and minor completion applied. ID:6

× I prefer indoors activities now like hitting the gym or catching a movie.

✓ I prefer indoor activities now, like going to the gym or watching a movie.

Use the adjective 'indoor' (not adverb 'indoors') to modify 'activities'. Use 'going to the gym' and 'watching a movie' for natural collocations. Add a comma for clarity. ID:13

× Also the parks near my my place are not that nice so I don't feel motivated to visit them.

✓ Also, the parks near my place are not that nice, so I don't feel motivated to visit them.

Remove the duplicated word 'my'. Add commas for readability. Pronoun 'my place' is fine after removing duplication. ID:12

× No, I don't think we need more parks in my city. To be honest. I really visit parks myself so it wouldn't would not make a make much difference to me.

✓ No, I don't think we need more parks in my city. To be honest, I rarely visit parks myself, so it would not make much difference to me.

Fix modal verb duplication 'wouldn't would not' to single 'would not'. 'Really visit' is awkward; use 'rarely visit' to convey infrequency. Remove extra 'a' in 'make a make much difference'. Add commas for clarity. ID:4

× I feel the city's should protest other improvements such as a upgrading public transport or building more schools.

✓ I feel the city should prioritize other improvements, such as upgrading public transport or building more schools.

'City's' is possessive and incorrect; use 'city' as subject. 'Protest' is wrong word; use 'prioritize' or 'focus on'. 'A upgrading' is incorrect; use 'upgrading' without 'a'. Parallel structure: 'upgrading public transport or building more schools.' ID:13

× Yes, I do really like to visit a new parks that just opened in my city.

✓ Yes, I would really like to visit the new park that just opened in my city.

Use conditional 'would like' to express desire. 'A new parks' mixes singular/plural and article; use 'the new park' if referring to a specific park. Remove extra 'do' used incorrectly. This corrects article and number. ID:1

× I will heard it has beautiful gardens and a Big Lake and I love I love to go there to relax, get some fresh air and maybe even try jogging to or cycling around the park.

✓ I heard it has beautiful gardens and a big lake, and I would love to go there to relax, get some fresh air, and maybe even try jogging or cycling around the park.

Do not use 'will heard'—use simple past 'I heard'. 'Big Lake' should be lowercase unless a proper noun. 'I love I love' is repetition; use 'I would love' to express desire. Remove extraneous 'to' after 'jogging' and add commas. This corrects tense and verb forms. ID:5}]} (Note: IDs included inline with explanations for reference)