Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答内容直接且相关，但存在重复填充词（如“uh”）过多，句子结构有些混乱，细节不够具体。可改进的地方：1) 减少填充词，保持句子流畅；2) 用一两个简短句子给出理由并补充具体细节（例如举例说明喜欢的玩具或在公园里不喜欢的活动）；3) 使用连接词使表达更连贯。

例: Not really. When I was a child I preferred toys because they were more exciting, for example I loved building models and playing video games. Parks seemed quiet and there were few activities for kids, so I didn't enjoy going there.

提案: 回答较为清晰，表达了转变并给出原因，但仍有过多填充词和重复，句子可以更简洁流畅。可改进：1) 删除多余停顿词，保持句子紧凑；2) 使用更具体的描述（例如哪种活动或景象让你平静）；3) 用连接词自然衔接原因与结果。

例: Yes, I started to enjoy parks last year because I was very stressed applying for university. Going for a walk among the trees helped me relax, and sitting on a bench and listening to birds calmed me down.

提案: 回答直接并给出理由，但表达稍显笨重且语气不够自然。改进建议：1) 避免口语中重复如“No, really”，改用更自然的短语；2) 用更清晰的句子结构说明财政理由并给出替代建议；3) 举例说明哪些公共项目更值得投资会更有说服力。

例: I don't think we need many more parks because the city already has several. Building and maintaining parks is expensive, so I would prefer the government spend money on improving schools or public transport instead.

提案: 回答清楚且有吸引力，表达了愿望并给出具体目标，但可以更具体地说明想去哪些国家公园或想做的活动，并用更地道的词汇替换“attracts me a lot”。改进点：1) 提及具体公园名称或活动（如徒步、摄影）；2) 使用更自然的表达强化理由；3) 保持句子简洁。

例: I'd love to visit national parks in the United States, such as Yellowstone or Yosemite. I want to go hiking and take landscape photos because I admire their vast mountains and dramatic scenery.

× I think going to park is very boring as I found that toys are more attractive for me and uh, in parks they are just trees, flowers and no one talks to me.

✓ I think going to parks was very boring because I found toys more attractive, and in parks there were just trees and flowers and no one talked to me.

错误类型：可数名词单复数问题。这里“park”应为复数或加定冠词/不定冠词（going to parks / going to the park），因为说的是一般性经历，用复数更自然；另外“toys are more attractive for me”改为“toys more attractive”更简洁；时态与背景为过去，故将“are/are just/no one talks”改为过去时“were/was/talked”。建议：当描述过去的一般性经历或习惯时，使用复数名词（parks）或在特指时加定冠词（the park）；动词时态要与时间状语一致，保持过去时。

× Uh, I actually found the interest of going to parks last year.

✓ Uh, I actually found an interest in going to parks last year.

错误类型：现在时/时态及介词搭配问题。短语“found the interest of”不自然，应该用“found an interest in”来表达“开始对……感兴趣”；因为句中已有时间状语“last year”，动词用过去式“found”是正确的，但介词和搭配需调整。建议：使用固定搭配“have an interest in / find an interest in”。

× Uh, at that time, I would feel very stressed about school work and because I was applying for universities.

✓ At that time, I felt very stressed about schoolwork because I was applying to universities.

错误类型：句子结构和连词使用不当。原句中“and because”导致结构混乱，且“would feel”在这里不合适，应使用过去时“felt”来陈述当时事实；“school work”应写作合成词“schoolwork”；申请大学用“apply to universities”。建议：避免把连词重复使用，简化为主句+原因从句：主句（I felt...）+ because 从句。

× However, once I went to the park and, uh, I, astonishingly, I, I felt a strong sense of peace when I saw those trees.

✓ However, once I went to the park, astonishingly, I felt a strong sense of peace when I saw the trees.

错误类型：过去分词/句子冗余与标点。句中重复“I”与过多停顿词应删除以使句子流畅；“those trees”可改为“the trees”更自然，但两者都可，保持过去时态fell?（原为felt，保留）。建议：说话时注意避免重复词和多余插入语，保持句子简洁清晰。

× No, really, I think there are already enough parks. Actually I think building park can be an opportunity cost for government budget because it's not easy to build and maintain a park and I think money should be invested.

✓ No, really, I think there are already enough parks. Actually I think building parks can be an opportunity cost for the government budget because it's not easy to build and maintain parks, and I think the money should be invested elsewhere.

错误类型：单复数和冠词错误。原句“building park”应为“building parks”或“building a park”视语境而定；“government budget”前应加定冠词“the”更自然；保持一致性，后半句也应把“a park”改为复数或保持一致。建议：注意可数名词的单复数一致性和定冠词的使用，表达泛指时用复数。

× If I have an opportunity, I might go to some national parks in America because I've seen those huge mountains and astonishing natural sceneries on magazines and Internet, so that attracts me a lot.

✓ If I have the opportunity, I might go to some national parks in America because I've seen those huge mountains and astonishing natural scenery in magazines and on the Internet, so that attracts me a lot.

错误类型：情态动词与冠词/介词搭配问题。将“an opportunity”改为更自然的固定短语“the opportunity”；“sceneries”通常用不可数名词“scenery”；介词短语应为“in magazines and on the Internet”。建议：学习固定搭配（have the opportunity / in magazines / on the Internet）和不可数名词用法（scenery）。