Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and prepositions, avoid repetition, and add one specific detail. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “and”, “so”, “because”).

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often played badminton and baseball there with my friends and my brother, which was great fun because we spent entire afternoons running and laughing. Those times gave me very happy memories.

提案: Fix grammar and repetition, use clear linking words, and be specific about routines. Use correct pronouns and reduce redundancies. Keep answer within 3–4 sentences and give a concrete example of an activity.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I have a dog, so I often take her there to play fetch and go for long walks, which helps both of us get exercise. For example, we usually walk around the lake for about 30 minutes every morning.

提案: Make your opinion clearer and correct word choice and sentence structure. Use linking phrases (for example, “however”, “on the other hand”) and give a specific reason or example to support your view. Avoid vague statements like “they're more important.”

例: I wouldn't prioritize more parks in my city. Instead, I think investing in schools and healthcare is more urgent because many neighborhoods lack quality education and medical services. However, improving a few existing parks could still benefit local communities.

提案: Correct vocabulary and grammar, be specific about destinations, and use linking words to explain reasons. Replace vague phrases with concrete examples of parks or countries and avoid repetition.

例: I haven't visited many famous parks abroad, but I would love to see national parks such as Yellowstone in the USA or Banff in Canada because I enjoy hiking and scenic landscapes. Visiting these parks would let me see dramatic mountains, lakes, and wildlife.

× Yes, I liked to go to parks in my chat foot.

✓ Yes, I liked to go to parks in my childhood.

The student intended to refer to the past period 'childhood' so 'chat foot' is a mispronunciation/typo. Use the noun 'childhood' to indicate a past time; 'liked' correctly shows past tense. Suggestion: say 'in my childhood' or 'when I was a child.'

× I like to play, play badminton or baseball with my friends or my brother.

✓ I liked to play badminton or baseball with my friends or my brother.

In context the examiner asked about childhood, so past tense should be used consistently. The repeated 'play' is redundant. Use 'play badminton or baseball' or 'playing badminton or baseball.' Suggestion: keep parallel structure: 'I liked playing badminton or baseball.'

× That was so fun and that was very good memories for me.

✓ That was so much fun and those are very good memories for me.

'Fun' requires 'so much fun' for emphasis. 'Memories' is plural and cannot be preceded by 'very good' with singular 'that was'; use 'those are' or 'they are' to refer to plural memories. Also maintain tense consistency. Suggestion: 'Those were very good memories for me.'

× Actually I have a dog so I I often take her to the parks.

✓ Actually I have a dog, so I often take her to the park.

Remove duplicate 'I'. 'Parks' should be singular 'the park' when referring to the usual place you take your dog. Present simple 'have' and 'take' are correct. Suggestion: 'I often take her to the park.'

× We it is best place to play with play catch and go for a long walk and that is very good both.

✓ It is the best place to play catch and go for a long walk, and it is good for both of us.

The original has extra pronouns and word order errors. Start with 'It is the best place...' Use 'play catch' (not 'play with play catch') and 'good for both of us' to clarify meaning. Suggestion: keep subject clear and avoid inserting pronouns unnecessarily.

× I'm not sure, but I don't think we need more parks in my city because they're more important.

✓ I'm not sure, but I don't think we need more parks in my city because other things are more important.

The clause 'because they're more important' is unclear: 'they' has no clear antecedent. Use 'other things are more important' to contrast parks with priorities. Suggestion: specify what is more important.

× Things like building new schools or improve public service, for example.

✓ Things like building new schools or improving public services, for example.

When listing gerunds after 'things like', maintain parallel gerund forms: 'building' and 'improving.' Also use plural 'public services.' Suggestion: use parallel structure for items in a list.

× Uh, Healthcare is important for students.

✓ Healthcare is important for students.

Only minor formatting: capitalize consistently; sentence is otherwise correct. Suggestion: keep 'Healthcare is important for students.'

× Actually, I'm not famous for parks in other countries, but I want to see beautiful parks or national national parks because I like to visiting beautiful places.

✓ Actually, I'm not familiar with parks in other countries, but I want to see beautiful parks or national parks because I like visiting beautiful places.

'Famous for parks' is incorrect meaning; use 'familiar with parks' to say you don't know them. Remove duplicate 'national'. Use correct verb form 'like visiting' (gerund) not 'to visiting.' Suggestion: use 'familiar with' and maintain correct gerund/infinitive usage.