Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak in the past tense and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence about liking parks as a child, then give specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh) and choose appropriate adjectives. Also keep answers concise (max 3–4 short sentences).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often went with my parents and we would have picnics and feed the ducks, which I enjoyed a lot. Because the parks were safe and had playgrounds, I spent many happy afternoons there.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence about current habits, then explain reasons with linking words. Use correct grammar (I don't enjoy rides; I'm not a child) and avoid repetition. Provide one specific example of what you do at parks now.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, mainly with my friends. However, I don't enjoy amusement rides anymore because I prefer relaxing activities. For example, we usually have a picnic and play frisbee on weekends.

提案: Answer directly and provide a clear reason and a brief detail. Use linking words like because or since. Avoid hesitations and unnecessary repetition. Mention the current situation and the benefit of more parks.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because we only have two at the moment. Since it's a small city, additional green spaces would give residents more places to exercise and socialize.

提案: Be specific and use correct vocabulary: Disneyland is a theme park rather than a public park. Start with a clear wish sentence, then give reasons and one detail about what you want to do there. Avoid vague endings and filler words.

例: Yes, I would love to visit Disneyland in the future because it is one of the largest and most famous theme parks in the world. I especially want to try the themed rides and watch the evening parade with my family.

× Of course, yes I do.

✓ Of course, yes I did.

The question refers to liking parks as a child (past time), so the student should use past tense. Use 'did' for the past simple affirmative in response to 'Did you like...?'. Replace present 'do' with past 'did'.

× I'd like going to parks as a child because this is fantastic, extreme and, uh, lovely expeditions with my parents.

✓ I liked going to parks as a child because they were fantastic, exciting, and lovely outings with my parents.

The speaker refers to a past habit, so use past 'liked' not 'I'd like' (which suggests conditional or present). 'Going to parks' is fine but 'this is' should match plural 'parks' and past tense: use 'they were'. 'Extreme' is unnatural for parks; use 'exciting'. 'Expeditions' is incorrect collocation; 'outings' fits. Ensure subject-verb agreement and past tense consistency.

× Uh, I want to go, uh, childhood.

✓ I wanted to go there during my childhood.

This sentence lacks a clear structure and tense consistency. The question asks about past experience, so use past 'wanted' and include an object/place ('there') and time expression 'during my childhood' to make a complete, meaningful sentence.

× Yes I like going to parks now with my friends but I don't like go in attractions because I don't child and this is don't happy me.

✓ Yes, I like going to parks now with my friends, but I don't like going on rides because I'm not a child and they don't make me happy.

Use present simple 'like going' for current habits. After 'don't like' use the gerund 'going'. 'Go in attractions' is wrong collocation: 'going on rides' or 'attractions' works. 'I don't child' is ungrammatical; use 'I'm not a child'. 'This is don't happy me' should be 'they don't make me happy' with correct subject 'they' referring to rides and correct verb form.

× I love picnic with my friends.

✓ I love picnicking with my friends.

After 'love' when expressing general preference, use the gerund 'picnicking' or use 'having a picnic'. 'Picnic' as a noun needs an article: 'I love a picnic with my friends' is less natural than 'I love picnicking with my friends'.

× Yes, I, yes, I like, uh, to see more parks in my city, but in my city, uh, I used to, uh, like it had two parks.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, but it used to have only two parks.

'I like to see more parks' should be 'I would like to see' to express a desire. 'I used to, uh, like it had two parks' is incorrect: use past 'it used to have two parks' or 'it had only two parks'. Maintain subject-verb order and clarity.

× It's a very small city and I agree.

✓ It's a very small city, and I agree.

Mostly correct but needs a comma before the conjunction for clarity. 'I agree' is vague; contextually it is acceptable but punctuation improves sentence structure.

× Yeah, I, umm, want to go uh, to Disneyland in the future because this is very big and one of the most, the biggest, uh, parks on the all the world.

✓ Yeah, I want to go to Disneyland in the future because it is very big and one of the biggest parks in the world.

Use 'want' for future intention; remove fillers. Referring to Disneyland requires 'it is' not 'this is'. 'One of the most, the biggest' is redundant; use 'one of the biggest'. 'On the all the world' is incorrect preposition and article use; correct is 'in the world'.

× Uh, and this park is uh, really.

✓ And this park is really amazing.

The original sentence ends abruptly; 'really' needs a following adjective. Add a descriptive adjective like 'amazing' to complete the thought. Ensure sentence completes the intended meaning.