Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., "in a in an").

例: No, I didn’t often go to parks as a child. I grew up in a neighborhood without parks, and my parents were quite protective, so I rarely went out to explore nearby places.

提案: Good structure and clear answer. Improve by tightening language and using a linking word to contrast your preference and occasional visits. Replace vague phrases like "for the most part" used twice.

例: I don’t usually choose parks because I’m introverted, but occasionally I visit if they aren’t crowded; for example, I sometimes take my dog there for a quiet walk.

提案: Answer directly and avoid vague repetition. Use linking words to contrast local and abroad preferences and provide one specific reason why foreign parks appeal to you.

例: Not really — I’m not keen on more parks in my city. However, I would like to visit parks abroad because they often reflect different cultures and landscapes, which would feel more novel and exciting compared with local parks.

提案: Be careful with grammar ("not visiting another parks") and tone — still answer the question directly then add a brief reason. Avoid absolute negative phrasing; use linking words to contrast preferences and give one concrete example.

例: Honestly, I don’t have any parks I must visit in the future. Instead, I’d prefer to visit beaches and try different restaurants because I enjoy new coastal scenery and local food more than park settings.

× As a child, I grew up in a in an area where there are no parks and I am not allowed to go out.

✓ As a child, I grew up in an area where there were no parks and I was not allowed to go out.

Errors: extra article 'a' before 'in an area' and tense inconsistency. Use a single article 'an' before 'area'. Because speaking about childhood (past), use past tense 'were' and 'was' to match time reference. Suggestion: remove the duplicate 'a' and change present verbs to past when describing past situations.

× As an only child, my parents were very protective of me, so for the most part I was not able to explore the neighborly places.

✓ As an only child, my parents were very protective of me, so for the most part I was not able to explore the neighborhood places.

The phrase 'neighborly places' is awkward and may reflect incorrect word choice. 'Neighborhood places' or 'neighborhood' better expresses local places. This is not a strict pluralization error but a collocation issue; corrected to a natural plural form. Suggestion: use common collocations such as 'neighborhood places' or 'local places.'

× For the most part, I am mostly an introverted person so going to parks is not my go to place.

✓ For the most part, I am an introverted person, so parks are not my go-to places.

Redundancy: 'For the most part' and 'mostly' both indicate frequency; keep one. 'Go to' as adjective needs hyphen 'go-to'. Also pluralize 'places' or restructure: 'parks are not my go-to places.' Use present tense 'am' correctly. Suggestion: avoid redundant adverbs and use correct hyphenation for compound adjectives.

× However, from time to time if the area is not too crowded, it's OK for me to go and bring my dog along with me.

✓ However, from time to time, if the area is not too crowded, it's OK for me to go and bring my dog along.

Minor redundancy: 'along with me' is unnecessary because 'bring my dog' implies accompanying. Also add comma after introductory clause. The gerund 'bringing' is not required; original 'bring' is acceptable as base verb after 'to' in 'to go and bring' but better style is 'to go and bring' or 'to go and take' — keep as 'bring' but remove redundant phrase. Suggestion: remove redundant words and add appropriate commas for clarity.

× No, but I would like to visit more parks in the future abroad.

✓ No, but I would like to visit more parks abroad in the future.

Word order is awkward. 'Abroad' should come before time phrase 'in the future' or after noun; both are acceptable, but placing 'abroad' earlier sounds more natural. Tense/modal is fine ('would like'). Suggestion: order adverbials by location then time for clarity.

× I feel like it would be a different experience, a different vibe and a different dimension.

✓ I feel it would be a different experience, with a different vibe and atmosphere.

'Different dimension' is an odd collocation in this context. Replace with 'atmosphere' for naturalness. Also remove unnecessary 'like' for a more formal phrasing. Suggestion: choose collocations that fit context and keep parallel structure.

× So I think that would be something exciting for me as comparison to visiting parks here nearby.

✓ So I think that would be something exciting for me compared to visiting parks nearby.

Use 'compared to' (or 'in comparison to') instead of 'as comparison to.' Also simplify 'here nearby' to 'nearby.' Suggestion: use correct comparative phrase 'compared to' and concise adverb placement.

× In all honesty, I can go by in this lifetime not visiting another parks.

✓ In all honesty, I could go through my life without visiting any more parks.

'Another parks' is ungrammatical: 'another' requires a singular count noun; for plural use 'other' or 'any more.' Also tense/modal adjusted to 'could go through my life' for naturalness. Suggestion: use 'any more parks' or 'other parks' for plural contexts and correct modal choice.

× I'd rather want to go to beaches and enjoy something new, a new place, a new restaurant and just new people.

✓ I'd rather go to beaches and enjoy something new: a new place, a new restaurant and new people.

'I'd rather want to' is incorrect because 'would rather' is followed by bare infinitive without 'want.' Use 'I'd rather go' not 'I'd rather want to go.' Also streamline repetition of 'new.' Suggestion: use 'would rather' + base verb and avoid redundant words.

× But definitely parks are not my thing.

✓ But parks are definitely not my thing.

Adverb placement: 'definitely' typically comes after subject or before verb; 'parks are definitely not my thing' is more natural. Tense is present and appropriate. Suggestion: place adverbs in standard positions for natural English.