Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and use specific details. Avoid errors like plural/singular mismatches and wrong verbs. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and add linking words for clarity. For example, say when you went, what you did there, and who you went with.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My mother often took me there on weekends, and I used to play soccer with my parents and local friends. Because the parks were close to our home, we visited almost every Sunday, which created many happy memories.

提案: Start with a clear statement and reduce hesitations. Use correct tense and smoother linking phrases (e.g., 'However,' 'But recently'). Be specific about reasons and frequency. Limit to 3–4 sentences and avoid filler sounds like 'umm'.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks whenever I can. However, recently I have been very busy with work and rarely have time to visit. When I do go, I usually take a short walk to relax and clear my mind.

提案: Answer directly then give a brief reason using linking words. Correct sentence structure (e.g., 'it is not necessary' or 'I don't think more are necessary'). Add a specific example or comparison if possible.

例: No, I don't think more parks are necessary in my city because there are already many within walking distance. For example, there is a large park near my home and several small green spaces in each neighborhood.

提案: Give a clear affirmative or negative and avoid unclear phrases. Use specific details and examples, and reduce hesitations. Mention why that park appeals to you (facilities, events, atmosphere) and use linking words like 'for example' or 'because'.

例: Yes, I'd like to visit parks that welcome all generations because I enjoy lively, mixed-age environments. For example, there is a popular park near Osaka Station where families, students and elderly people meet for concerts and exercise classes, and I would love to experience that community atmosphere.

× Yes, it was my favorite things to do in my childhood.

✓ Yes, it was my favorite thing to do in my childhood.

The noun 'things' is plural but refers to a single favorite activity; use singular 'thing' to match 'my favorite'. This fixes a singular/plural mismatch. Suggestion: use 'thing' or rephrase 'one of my favorite things'.

× My mother took me parks often and I prayed soccer with my parents.

✓ My mother took me to parks often and I played soccer with my parents.

Two errors: missing preposition 'to' after 'took me' (correct form 'took me to parks'), and verb 'prayed' is wrong choice; context requires 'played' (past tense of 'play'). These are preposition and verb choice errors. Suggestion: remember common verb-preposition collocations like 'take someone to' and use correct verb forms.

× I like that if I have chance to go there, I often visit parks, but these days I'm busy and I don't have enough opportunity to, umm, walk around the park.

✓ I like going there if I have the chance; I often visit parks, but these days I'm busy and I don't have enough opportunities to walk around the park.

Multiple tense and article issues: use gerund 'going' after 'I like', include article 'the' before 'chance', and pluralize 'opportunities' to match general meaning. Also streamline clauses for natural present tense usage. Suggestion: use 'I like going there if I have the chance' and keep consistent verb forms.

× In my city there are a lot of parks nearby so I don't think it's necessary more.

✓ There are a lot of parks nearby in my city, so I don't think more are necessary.

Awkward word order and incorrect placement of 'more' create an ungrammatical sentence. Reorder to place 'more' with 'are necessary' or say 'it's necessary to have more' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'more are necessary' or 'it's necessary to have more parks' depending on intended meaning.

× Umm, I haven't to double that, but I'd like to visit a park where umm, all generations of people can get together.

✓ Umm, I can't say that for sure, but I'd like to visit a park where people of all generations can get together.

The phrase 'I haven't to double that' is ungrammatical. Use 'I can't say that for sure' to express uncertainty. Also reorder 'all generations of people' to the more natural 'people of all generations'. Suggestion: use common expressions for uncertainty and natural noun phrase order.

× For example, in Osaka, near the Osaka station, there is a park where umm, all generations of people are gathering and doing.

✓ For example, in Osaka, near Osaka Station, there is a park where people of all generations gather and enjoy themselves.

Use simple present 'gather' (habitual action) rather than present continuous 'are gathering' for a general statement. 'Doing' is incomplete; replace with a specific verb phrase like 'enjoy themselves' to complete the idea. Also capitalize and simplify 'Osaka Station'. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual facts and use complete verb phrases.