Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は簡潔だが不自然な表現や文法ミスがある（"favorite was swing" や時制・語順）。内容を少し広げると良いが、5文以内に収め、接続語で流れを良くすること。具体的には名詞の前に冠詞を付け、動詞の時制・目的語を明確にし、なぜそれが好きだったかの理由を一つ加えると良い。

例: Yes, I did. My mother often took me to several parks in my town, and my favorite was the swings. I used to play on them for a long time because swinging made me feel free and happy.

提案: 回答は意味が分かりにくく、文法と語彙の誤用が多い（"going to park", 重複した理由表現、意味不明な地名）。まずは明確な主旨を短く述べ、理由を一つか二つだけ具体的に説明すること。さらに不明確な地名や語は避け、簡潔な接続語で文をつなぐと良い。

例: Not really. I am very busy with my studies and a part-time job, so I rarely have time to visit parks. Instead, I usually spend my free time at a nearby campus plaza where I can relax between classes.

提案: 意見は示せているが、表現が不自然で文法ミスがある（"few children", "many office buildings are built", 人称や所有格の誤り）。賛否どちらかを明確にし、理由を具体例で補足すると説得力が増す。例えば将来の人口変化や住民の意見を挙げるなど。

例: I don't think we need many new parks right now because our city mostly has office buildings and few young families. However, some neighbors with young children disagree and say more small playgrounds would be useful for families.

提案: 伝えたい内容は分かるが、表現が曖昧で文法的に不正確（"I can forget one park", 不完全な感情表現）。過去の思い出を述べる際は過去形を正しく使い、なぜその公園が印象的だったかを具体的に説明すること。

例: Not really in Japan. But when I studied abroad in the US, I visited a park that I still remember. It had a large wooden swing, and I loved it because swinging there felt very peaceful and reminded me of my childhood.

× My mother often took me to several parks in my town, but my favorite was swing and I played with it for a long time.

✓ My mother often took me to several parks in my town, but my favorite was the swing and I played on it for a long time.

You omitted the definite article before a specific noun and used wrong preposition for an activity. Use the to refer to a specific swing: 'the swing'. Use 'play on' for swings, not 'play with'. Suggestion: say 'the swing' and 'played on it' to be natural.

× Actually not really because I have no time for going to park because I have a lot of tasks to do such as studying or doing part time job.

✓ Actually not really because I have no time to go to the park because I have a lot of tasks to do such as studying or doing a part-time job.

Countable noun 'park' needs an article: 'the park' when speaking generally about the activity of going to parks in your town. Use 'to go to' rather than 'for going to'. 'Part-time job' needs hyphen and an article 'a'. Suggestion: use 'no time to go to the park' and 'a part-time job'.

× However, instead of going to parks I really love to go to the UMM central Tokyo such as Syria.

✓ However, instead of going to parks I really love to go to Ueno Park in central Tokyo, such as when I visit areas like Ueno or Asakusa.

Original has unclear place names and incorrect preposition/article use. Place names often don't take 'the' unless official; 'in central Tokyo' is correct. 'Such as Syria' is unrelated and incorrect. Suggestion: specify a real park name or say 'in central Tokyo' and remove unrelated country names.

× Actually no, because in my city there are few children and many office buildings are built, so I think parks are not necessary for my town.

✓ Actually no, because in my city there are few children and many office buildings, so I think parks are not necessary in my town.

Use plural 'office buildings' without passive 'are built' because it's descriptive. Use 'in my town' rather than 'for my town'. 'Few children' is acceptable but may prefer 'not many children'. Suggestion: say 'there are few children and many office buildings'.

× However, my neighborhood who has a little child, says she need more.

✓ However, my neighbor who has a small child says she needs more.

Use 'neighbor' (person) not 'neighborhood' (area). Relative clause refers to a person so use 'who'. 'Little child' is better as 'small child'. Subject-verb agreement: 'she needs'. Remove unnecessary commas. Suggestion: use 'my neighbor who has a small child says she needs more'.

× In Japan, actually no.

✓ In Japan, actually no, I don't have any parks I want to visit in the future.

Sentence is fragmentary and lacks a verb and clear object. Add a full clause to answer the question. Suggestion: expand to 'I don't have any parks I want to visit in the future'.

× But in America I can forget one park that's located in US, which I visited when I studied abroad there.

✓ But in America I can recall one park that's located in the US, which I visited when I studied abroad there.

'Forget' is wrong choice; context requires 'remember' or 'recall'. Also include article 'the US'. Suggestion: use 'recall one park located in the US'.

× It has a big swing, which I loved it because I could feel.

✓ It has a big swing, which I loved because I could feel the breeze when I swung on it.

Relative clause 'which I loved it' is ungrammatical—do not use both 'which' and 'it'. Also 'could feel' is incomplete; specify what you felt. Suggestion: combine into 'which I loved because I could feel the breeze when I swung on it'.