Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct, grammatically correct topic sentence and one or two concise supporting details. Avoid hesitation and unnecessary fragments. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood and add a brief reason or memory to enrich your answer.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I often played on the swings and climbed trees with my friends, which made those afternoons very memorable.

提案: Use correct verb forms and clearer linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific reasons and use connectors like 'because' or 'so' to link ideas. Keep sentences shorter and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I still go to parks when I have free time. I often visit when I'm feeling stressed because sitting and watching children play helps me relax and reminds me of my childhood.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason with one specific detail or comparison. Correct subject-verb agreement and avoid vague phrases like 'I think so many park heads'. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'however'.

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because we only have two at the moment. Additional parks would give people more places to exercise and for children to play.

提案: Name the park directly, use present simple to describe it, and give a specific reason why you want to visit. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases; explain how you learned about it with clear connectors.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Kathmandu Park in the capital city. I have seen many videos of its beautiful fountains and gardens on Instagram and TikTok, and I want to see the fountains and take photos in person.

× Yes, I love going to park when I was the kid. I am the just, uh.

✓ Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child.

Mixed tenses and wrong noun forms: 'love' present doesn't match 'when I was the kid' (past). Use past tense 'loved'. 'park' should be plural or include article: 'parks' or 'the park'; 'the kid' is wrong — use 'a child'. Remove filler 'I am the just, uh.' Suggestion: decide past context, use 'I loved going to parks when I was a child.'

× Yes, I still going park when I get free time then some when I'm didn't feeling well.

✓ Yes, I still go to parks when I have free time, and sometimes when I'm not feeling well.

Incorrect verb forms and tense consistency: 'still going' should be simple present 'still go'. 'park' needs plural or article and preposition 'to': 'go to parks'. 'get free time' -> 'have free time'. 'then some when I'm didn't feeling well' mixes tenses and forms; use 'sometimes when I'm not feeling well.'

× I'm going to park and sitting there and watching kids are playing and I'm remembering my past when I when I was in child.

✓ I go to the park and sit there watching the children play, and I remember my past when I was a child.

Incorrect progressive forms and word order: 'I'm going to park and sitting' should be simple present 'I go to the park and sit' (habitual action). 'watching kids are playing' is incorrect; use 'watching the children play' or 'watch kids playing'. 'I'm remembering' is awkward for habitual recollection; use 'I remember'. 'when I was in child' -> 'when I was a child.'

× Yes I love seeing more park in my city are our city have only two parks but there is I think so many park heads in our city but I don't know but.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city. Our city has only two parks, but I think there used to be many more, though I'm not sure.

Plural and verb agreement errors: 'seeing more park' -> 'see more parks'. 'are our city have' should be 'our city has' (subject-verb agreement). 'so many park heads' is unclear; likely meant 'many parks before' or 'used to have many parks'. Avoid extra fillers 'but I don't know but.'

× I just want to go in my future in park.

✓ I just want to go to a park in the future.

Preposition and article misuse: 'go in my future in park' incorrect. Use 'go to a park in the future.' Maintain future intention with 'want to' + base verb.

× This is the Kathmandu park, which is the our capital city, uh, capital City car phone do there is Kathmandu font pack that is so amazing.

✓ There is a park in Kathmandu, which is our capital city, and it is amazing.

Article and word choice errors: 'the Kathmandu park' unnecessary 'the' unless specific. 'which is the our capital city' -> 'which is our capital city' (remove extra article). The rest is incoherent ('car phone do', 'Kathmandu font pack'); simplify to a clear statement about the park being amazing.

× I'm watching that park video in Tiktok and Instagram reels.

✓ I watch videos of that park on TikTok and Instagram Reels.

Present continuous is acceptable for current activity but for habitual viewing use simple present 'I watch'. Also use 'on TikTok and Instagram Reels' (preposition 'on') and correct capitalization. 'that park video' -> 'videos of that park.'

× Sometimes I'm watching in uh, Google's also.

✓ Sometimes I also watch them on Google.

Preposition and verb form: 'watching in Google's' is wrong. Use 'watch on Google' and change progressive to simple present for habitual action: 'I also watch them on Google.'