Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答应使用正确时态并更自然流畅。可将主题句与具体细节分开，避免重复并补充具体例子或感受以充实内容。例如说明常做的活动、频率和记忆。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks with my grandparents when I was a child. We often went there after dinner to walk and enjoy the cool air, and sometimes we fed the ducks or played simple games, which made those evenings very memorable.

提案: 注意用词和语法准确性，避免冗余（例如“offer me with”不正确）。用衔接词连接原因和例子，使句子更连贯并提供更多具体信息如频率或活动。

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they have beautiful scenery and fresh air. I usually go there with friends for a picnic on weekends, and we often bring snacks and play frisbee while relaxing under the trees.

提案: 句子需要更准确的结构和词汇，避免直译式表达（如“stronger body”）。用连接词说明原因并给出具体益处，比如改善健康、休闲空间或社区活动。

例: Yes, I would. More parks would make the city more attractive and improve air quality. They would also encourage people to exercise outdoors, which could lead to better public health and stronger communities.

提案: 回答需更自然并注意语法（如定冠词和词序），避免不自然的短语（“provided is lucky”）。可说明为什么吸引你、什么时候去以及计划做什么来丰富内容。

例: Yes, I would love to visit Wunüzhou Park in Jiangxi, China. I've heard it has beautiful scenery and a peaceful spring, and I hope to go there next year to take photos, walk along the trails and enjoy the tranquil atmosphere.

× I like to go to parks when I was a child with my grandparents and I usually do that after dinner and for healthy.

✓ I liked going to parks when I was a child with my grandparents; I usually did that after dinner for health.

句子在讲过去的习惯，应使用过去时（liked, did），而不是现在时（like, do）。另外“for healthy”不正确，应为“for health”或“to stay healthy”。建议：描述过去习惯用过去常态（liked, used to, would），表达目的用固定搭配“for health”或“to keep healthy”。

× Yes, of course, I still like going to park now because the park will offer me with beautiful scenery and fresh air.

✓ Yes, of course, I still like going to the park now because the park offers me beautiful scenery and fresh air.

句子中有两处问题：1) 名词前缺定冠词，应为“the park”；2) 表示现在事实应使用一般现在时（offers），而不是将来时（will offer）。另外动词短语不需要“offer ... with”，正确搭配是“offer sb sth”或“provide sb with sth”。建议：场景事实用一般现在时，注意冠词和动词搭配。

× I usually go to the park with my friends for a picnic.

✓ I usually go to the park with my friends for a picnic.

原句语法正确，无需改动。提示：park前加定冠词“the”是恰当的；此句无需更改。

× Yes I would because I think the more parks makes the city more attractive and the air fresher, maybe the more parks will offer people with stronger body.

✓ Yes, I would, because I think more parks make the city more attractive and the air fresher; maybe more parks will help people have stronger bodies.

主谓不一致：主语“more parks”是复数，应使用复数动词“make”。另外“offer people with stronger body”搭配错误，建议改为“help people have stronger bodies”或“make people healthier”。注意复数名词“bodies”。

× Yes, I would like to go to a park and its name is Wu Nuizhou and it's in Jiangxi, China. The park is provided is lucky with its beautiful scenery and peaceful spring that's attracted me.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to a park called Wu Nuizhou in Jiangxi, China. The park is famous for its beautiful scenery and peaceful spring, which attracts me.

原句结构混乱：1) 用法冗长且不自然，应使用“called”来引出名字；2) “is provided is lucky”完全不合语法，应改为“is famous for”或“is known for”；3) 关系从句使用不当，“that's attracted me”时态和结构不合，改为“which attracts me”表现在吸引力。建议：用简洁从句和正确固定搭配（called, famous for, which attracts）。