Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意句子結構和時態，避免重複詞語並給出一個主題句然後補充具體細節。可以把回答擴展為一到三句，說明你當時做了什麼、為何喜歡。例：先說“Yes, I did.”作為主題句，然後用because引出原因，最後加一個具體的例子。

例: Yes, I did. I loved going to parks because I could fly kites there, which was exciting for me. For example, my father would help me launch the kite on windy afternoons.

提案: 回答時注意語法（人稱和動詞一致）和情感表達要更自然。先給出直接回答，再用一到兩句具體原因或感受，不要堆疊相似形容詞。可以用連接詞讓語意更流暢。

例: Not really. I don't go to parks often now because my friends are usually busy, so I often feel lonely there. If I went by myself, I would probably read a book or go for a walk to enjoy the fresh air.

提案: 回答要更有組織，使用清晰的連接詞（first, second）並補全未完成的想法。提供具體好處，如運動空間、社交機會或環境改善，每點用一句話說明。句子不宜過長，保持自然。

例: Yes, I would. First, more small parks would give children more places to play, so I could meet and play with them. Second, larger green areas would improve the air quality and provide a peaceful place to relax.

提案: 注意發音拼寫和句子完整性，避免口頭語（如 'Umm' ）出現於正式回答。先說想去哪裡，然後給出兩個具體理由（例如景色、活動、空氣質量），用連接詞使語意連貫。

例: I would like to visit Bijian Mountain Park in Shenzhen in the future. It looks interesting because of the hiking trails and scenic views, and I would also enjoy the clean, fresh air to relax and clear my mind.

× Yes I did because I I can fly kite.

✓ Yes, I did because I could fly kites.

句中时态不一致。问题句第一部分用过去时（"I did"），因此后半句也应使用过去时态“could”。另外，名词“kite”应为复数或加不定冠词：在泛指儿童放风筝的活动时用复数“kites”。建议把重复的“I”去掉并加上逗号以增强可读性。

× I don't like going to parks now because my friends all have no time to play with me.

✓ I don't like going to parks now because all my friends have no time to play with me.

句子时态为一般现在时，结构上“all my friends have no time”更符合英语习惯。原句中“my friends all have no time”词序不太自然，调整为“all my friends have no time”。另外可用更自然的表达如“none of my friends have time”或“my friends don't have time to play with me”。

× It makes me very sad and boring and I feels very lonely.

✓ It makes me feel very sad and bored, and I feel very lonely.

动词与主语不一致：在并列结构中应使用动词原形“feel”跟随使役结构“makes me”。另外“boring”描述事物，“bored”描述人的感受，应改为“bored”。最后“I feels”主语“I”应搭配动词“feel”。建议注意形容词用法（-ing表示令人……的，-ed表示感到……的）和主谓一致。

× Yes, I really want to see more parks appearing in my city.

✓ Yes, I really want to see more parks appear in my city.

动词短语“want to see”后面跟动词应使用不带-ing的动词原形“appear”，而不是现在分词“appearing”。虽然“appearing”语法上不是完全错误，但在此语境下更自然的是“see ... appear”。

× First of all with small parks there will be most children play in the park so I can play with them and 2nd with the forest becomes more I can.

✓ First of all, if there are more small parks, many children will play there so I can play with them. Secondly, if there are more trees or forests, I can ...

原句结构混乱，缺少连词和正确语序。应使用条件句“if there are”来表达“有更多小公园/更多树林”的意思；“most children play in the park”也需调整为“many children will play there”以匹配将来含义。原句结尾不完整（"I can."），需要补充动词或完整句子。建议把句子拆成两句并使用清晰的条件结构。

× As the Bijan Mountain parks in Shenzhen, I really want to go in the future because it's Umm Jiazi is really interesting and exciting.

✓ For example, the Bijian Mountain Park in Shenzhen — I really want to go in the future because Um Jiazi is really interesting and exciting.

使用介词不当和地名表达混乱。应使用“for example”或“such as”引出例子，而不是“As the...”。“parks”复数若指单一公园应为“park”。句中“it's Umm Jiazi is”重复且不通顺，应简化为“because Um Jiazi is really interesting and exciting”。建议确认地名拼写并使用合适的引导短语。

× In the other hand, the clean air and fresh air I really want to breath in to refresh my mind.

✓ On the other hand, I really want to breathe in the clean, fresh air to refresh my mind.

介词短语应为“on the other hand”，不是“in the other hand”。动词“breath”是名词，动词形式应为“breathe”。“clean air and fresh air”重复，合并为“clean, fresh air”更简洁自然。建议注意固定短语和动词的形式。