Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and cohesive. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific reasons or a short example. Avoid unrelated details (e.g., coffee shops) unless you link them clearly to why you disliked parks. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to make your answer logical.

例: Not really. I didn't enjoy going to parks as a child because I preferred indoor activities, especially during winter. For example, I liked visiting coffee shops with my family and spending time exercising at the gym, so parks were less appealing to me.

提案: Give a concise direct answer, then explain briefly why with one clear reason and one short detail. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'instead' to connect ideas and avoid repeating the same phrase.

例: No, I still don't enjoy parks. Instead, I prefer going to coffee shops or the gym because I find indoor settings more comfortable and social for me.

提案: Answer the question directly and provide a clearer reason with a complete sentence. Mention the city's priorities briefly and, if relevant, add a short consequence or suggestion. Avoid grammar mistakes (use 'focuses' and full phrases).

例: Not really. My city focuses on parking, transportation and building development, so there is little planning for new parks. As a result, I don't expect many new parks to be built soon.

提案: Give a direct response and finish your supporting details in full sentences. Use linking words like 'because' and 'and' correctly, and avoid fragments. Be specific about what you prefer and why.

例: Not really. I'm not a big fan of parks because I prefer to keep fit at the gym, which suits my routine. I also enjoy going to coffee shops with friends because it's a relaxing way to socialise.

× No, I don't like winter parks.

✓ No, I didn't like parks in winter.

The student is referring to past preference as a child (context: 'Did you like... as a child?'), so use past tense 'didn't like' rather than 'don't like'. Also 'winter parks' is awkward; 'parks in winter' is more natural.

× I like going to coffee shop or going to the gym.

✓ I liked going to coffee shops or to the gym.

Match past tense 'liked' with the question about childhood. Use plural 'coffee shops' or include the article 'a coffee shop'. Include parallel structure 'to coffee shops or to the gym'.

× I don't like outdoor activities.

✓ I didn't like outdoor activities.

The question asked about childhood, so the verb should be past tense 'didn't like' rather than present 'don't like'.

× No, I don't like going to parks.

✓ No, I don't like going to parks now.

Here the examiner asked about current preference, so present tense 'don't like' is fine. Adding 'now' clarifies contrast with childhood.

× I'm not a big fan of that.

✓ I'm not a big fan of them.

Refers to parks (plural), so use the plural pronoun 'them' instead of 'that'.

× However, I've preferred going to coffee shops with my friends or going to the gym.

✓ However, I prefer going to coffee shops with my friends or going to the gym.

'I've preferred' (present perfect) is incorrect for a general current preference. Use simple present 'I prefer' to state habitual preference.

× No, because my city focus on parking, transportation and building.

✓ No, because my city focuses on parking, transportation, and building.

Subject-verb agreement: 'city' (singular) requires 'focuses'. Also include commas and 'and' for list clarity; 'building' is uncountable here but 'building' could be 'construction' for clarity.

× Not really, I'm not a big fan of parks.

✓ Not really, I'm not a big fan of parks.

This sentence is acceptable in present tense when answering future plans; no change needed.

× I prefer going to the gym be because I like to keep fit and I also.

✓ I prefer going to the gym because I like to keep fit, and I also enjoy coffee hopping with my friends.

Remove 'be' (incorrect insertion), complete the second clause ('I also' is incomplete), and join ideas with 'and'. Use 'enjoy' to complete the thought.

× Coffee hopping with my friends because it's nice way to relocate.

✓ I also like going coffee hopping with my friends because it's a nice way to relax.

'Coffee hopping' can be used but needs a verb ('I also like going coffee hopping...'). 'Relocate' is incorrect here; likely intended 'relax'. Add article 'a' before 'nice way'.