Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 어수선하고 반복이 많습니다. 주제 문장으로 바로 대답한 뒤, 간결한 이유와 구체적 예시를 덧붙이세요. 동사 형태와 시제를 정확히 사용하고 불필요한 중복(umm, repeats)을 줄이세요. 예: “When I was a child, I went to the park every day because…” 형태로 시작하고 활동(played games, climbed trees 등)을 구체적으로 하나나 두 개만 제시하세요.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I went almost every day because I enjoyed playing games with my friends and running around on the grass. For example, we often played hide-and-seek or climbed trees, which made outdoor time really fun.

提案: 문장 구조와 단어 선택이 부자연스럽고 중복이 많습니다. 간단한 주제 문장 뒤에 이유와 빈도를 명확히 설명하세요. 예를 들어 ‘I still like going to parks, but not daily. I visit them to relax or study outdoors.’처럼 동사원형과 시제를 바로잡으세요. 또한 ‘clear my mind’와 같은 표현을 자연스럽게 연결어(with, to)로 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but not every day. I usually visit a park to take a walk or study outdoors with friends because the quiet environment helps me clear my mind and relax.

提案: 의견은 명확하지만 문법과 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다. ‘I would like to see more parks in my city because…’로 시작하고 구체적 이유(health benefits, community space, environment)를 한두 가지 제시하세요. ‘people’과 ‘city’의 소유 표현을 정확히 사용하고 중복 단어를 제거하세요.

例: Yes, definitely. I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces where people can relax and exercise. More parks would improve residents’ well-being and create better community areas.

提案: 목적지가 분명하지 않고 문장이 미완성입니다. 가고 싶은 곳을 구체적으로 말하고 이유(landscape, hiking, photography 등)를 명확히 설명하세요. 예: ‘I want to visit a big national park such as X because I enjoy hiking and scenery.’처럼 장소 이름이나 활동을 넣어 구체성을 높이세요.

例: Yes, I'd love to visit a large national park in the future, such as Yellowstone or my country's biggest park. I want to go because the landscapes are beautiful and I enjoy hiking and taking photos of nature.

× Oh yeah, umm, when I was a child I every single day I went go park because I enjoyed playing hang, I played with my friends or running around, running around.

✓ Oh yeah, when I was a child I went to the park every single day because I enjoyed playing tag with my friends and running around.

This sentence has multiple structure and word choice issues: misplaced adverbial phrase, redundant subjects, incorrect verb forms, and wrong noun for the game. Suggestions: place time expressions correctly (at beginning or before verb), remove duplicate subjects ('I' twice), use correct verb phrase 'went to the park', use 'playing tag' not 'playing hang', and join activities with 'and' to avoid fragments. Keep simple past tense consistent for past habits: 'I went' and 'I enjoyed'. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× Uh, yes, I, I still like go to the park, umm, but not to go every single day.

✓ Uh, yes, I still like going to the park, but not every single day.

The verb 'like' is followed by a gerund when expressing general preferences: 'like going' rather than 'like go'. Also 'to go every single day' is wordy; 'not every single day' is clearer. Suggestions: use 'like + -ing' for habits and preferences. Grammar problem type ID: 10

× Sometimes I go there umm, when I go there, I I learning or take a walk with my friends.

✓ Sometimes I go there; when I go, I study or take a walk with my friends.

The verb 'learning' is incorrect here; after 'I' use the base verb or correct form: 'I learn' or better 'I study'. Also remove duplicate 'I'. Use punctuation to separate clauses. Suggestions: use 'I study' for activities, and pair parallel verbs: 'study or take a walk'. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× It helps me my clear my mind and keep keep.

✓ It helps me clear my mind and relax.

This fragment repeats words and uses incorrect structure 'helps me my clear'. Correct structure is 'helps me clear my mind' (object 'me' plus verb 'clear') and use a single verb 'relax' rather than repeated 'keep'. Suggestions: use concise expressions: 'helps me clear my mind and relax'. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× Yeah, definitely. I rather umm, more par create more park is good for our city peoples because it it helps many people, uh, clear their mind and relax.

✓ Yeah, definitely. I would rather have more parks created; more parks are good for our city's people because they help many people clear their minds and relax.

Problems include incorrect modal/phrase 'I rather', missing auxiliary 'would', wrong formed noun 'par', and plural/possessive errors 'our city peoples'. Use 'parks' plural and possessive 'our city's people' or better 'people in our city'. Also adjust verbs for passive or causative meaning: 'have more parks created' or simply 'create more parks'. Suggestions: use 'I would rather' for preferences, 'more parks' as plural, and 'they help' to match plural subject. Grammar problem type ID: 14

× Oh yes, I want to go big National Park someone, some sometime somewhat because is the landscape is very great and I I, I saw the view in the.

✓ Oh yes, I want to go to a big national park sometime because the landscape is beautiful and I have seen pictures of the view.

Multiple tense and article issues: 'want to go to' requires preposition 'to' and indefinite article 'a' before 'big national park'. 'Sometime' fits better than 'some sometime somewhat'. 'Because is the landscape is very great' is ungrammatical; use 'because the landscape is beautiful'. Also 'I saw the view in the' is incomplete; clarify with 'I have seen pictures of the view' or 'I saw photos'. Suggestions: use 'want to go to a ... sometime', use present perfect 'have seen' for experience without a time, and choose appropriate adjectives like 'beautiful' rather than 'very great'. Grammar problem type ID: 6