Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, use correct tense and sentence structure, and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence (past tense), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, “because” or “so”). Watch pronunciation and filler words (e.g., “I, I”).

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my whole family would go together. For example, my parents and brother and I often packed homemade lunches and spent the afternoon playing games and having a picnic.

提案: Use present simple or present continuous correctly and reduce fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence about current habit, then give specific routine details and link them (for example, “so” or “because”). Avoid vague or conflicting phrases like “I used to” when describing a present habit.

例: Yes, I still enjoy parks. I go for a 45-minute walk in the nearest park every day because I am at home most of the time and need exercise, so visiting the park is part of my daily routine.

提案: Answer directly then support with clear, specific information. Avoid unnecessary location details unless relevant to the question. Use correct grammar (e.g., “there are many parks,” “I like to go there”) and linking words like “for example” or “also.”

例: Yes, I would like more parks in the city because green space is important. For example, I live in the Saddle Creek area of Calgary and although there are several small parks nearby, more larger parks would give residents more space for walking and family activities.

提案: Give a direct answer, correct tense, and add one or two specific reasons or details to expand. Use linking words such as “because” or “so” to connect ideas and avoid fillers.

例: Yes, I would like to visit Banff National Park because I have never been there and I want to see the mountains and lakes. If I get the chance, I plan to spend a few days hiking and taking photographs of the scenery.

× Yes, When I was child, I really like to go to parks.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, I really liked going to parks.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'child' (singular noun) and tense consistency: the sentence refers to past habit so 'like' should be 'liked' and 'to go to parks' is better as the gerund 'going to parks' to express habitual past action.

× I always go to parks with my mother, my father and my brother.

✓ I always went to parks with my mother, my father, and my brother.

The context is past (childhood), so present simple 'go' should be past simple 'went' to match time frame. Also add a comma before 'and' in a list for clarity (Oxford comma is optional but acceptable).

× We really enjoyed a lot there.

✓ We really enjoyed ourselves there a lot.

Original word order is awkward. 'Enjoyed a lot' is not natural; use 'enjoyed ourselves' or 'enjoyed it a lot'. The correction places the reflexive pronoun correctly and 'a lot' at the end for emphasis.

× We always take our food from home and we used to eat it in the park.

✓ We always took our food from home and used to eat it in the park.

Mixing present 'take' with past 'used to' is inconsistent. For past habitual action, both verbs should be past: 'took' and 'used to eat'. Also omit the second subject 'we' before 'used to' for conciseness.

× I like to, I, I even.

✓ I even liked it.

Fragmented sentence lacks a clear verb and object. In past context, use 'liked' and include an object ('it') or complete the thought (e.g., 'I even liked that').

× Yes, yes, definitely for now. I used to.

✓ Yes, yes, definitely now. I do.

'Used to' indicates past habit and conflicts with 'now'. To express present habit use present simple 'I do'. Also 'for now' is awkward; 'now' is sufficient.

× I like to go to parks daily because I'm a housewife.

✓ I like to go to parks daily because I'm a housewife.

No grammatical change needed here for tense, but note: this sentence is acceptable; it uses present simple to describe current routine.

× I stay at home for 24 to 7.

✓ I stay at home 24/7.

Use the conventional expression '24/7' or 'all day, every day'. 'For 24 to 7' is incorrect prepositional expression.

× So yeah, in my daily routine, I added, uh, walks.

✓ So yeah, in my daily routine, I added walks.

Unnecessary filler 'uh' removed and past tense 'added' is acceptable if referring to a change made; maintain simple structure for clarity.

× I completed 45 minute walk to the park, to the nearest park.

✓ I complete a 45-minute walk to the nearest park.

For habitual present routine use present simple 'complete'. Also add article 'a' and hyphenate '45-minute'. Remove redundant 'to the park'.

× I like to go there, yeah.

✓ I like going there.

Present simple 'like going' is more natural than 'like to go' in this context; remove filler 'yeah'.

× I am currently residing in Calgary in Saddle Creek area and there is a lot of parks there.

✓ I am currently residing in Calgary in the Saddle Creek area, and there are a lot of parks there.

Use definite article 'the' before 'Saddle Creek area'. 'There is' with plural 'parks' is incorrect; use 'there are'. Also remove repeated 'there'.

× Uh, the one of the very nearest park to me is situated on Avenue 95 and like to go, I likes to go there very much.

✓ The nearest park to me is on Avenue 95, and I like to go there very much.

Simplify phrase: 'the one of the very nearest park' is incorrect. Use 'the nearest park'. Use preposition 'on' for an avenue. 'I likes' is wrong: subject-verb agreement requires 'I like'.

× There another very several parks there, but I used to go there.

✓ There are several other parks there, but I used to go to them.

Missing verb 'are' for existence with plural noun. Word order: 'several other parks' is natural. Also 'go there' is vague; use 'go to them' to refer to multiple parks. 'Used to' indicates past habit and is acceptable if intended.

× I want to go to uh, Banff National Park.

✓ I want to go to Banff National Park.

No tense change needed; sentence is fine after removing filler 'uh'.

× I never been there.

✓ I have never been there.

Missing auxiliary verb for present perfect. Use 'have' + past participle 'been' to indicate that up to now the speaker has not visited the place.

× I want to go in future, definitely, if I got a chance.

✓ I want to go in the future, definitely, if I get a chance.

Use 'in the future' with definite article 'the'. Conditional clause should use present simple 'if I get a chance' when main clause expresses future intention; 'got' is past and incorrect here.