Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Говорите короче и связнее: начните с общей темы (topic sentence), затем добавьте одно-два конкретных поддерживающих предложения. Избегайте повтора слов и ошибок в грамматике и порядке слов. Работайте над правильным использованием времен (past simple) и удаляйте лишние слова и заикания.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often spent afternoons at the playground with my friends, playing games and exploring nature. Those visits felt wonderful because I enjoyed being outdoors and close to trees and birds.

提案: Уточняйте мысли и исправляйте слова/порядок: используйте логические связки (for example, because) и правильные формы глаголов. Скажите, как часто и почему, избегая ненужных слов и повторов.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks occasionally. For example, I often go early in the morning to watch birds because they are most active then, and the peaceful atmosphere helps me relax.

提案: Делайте выводы ясными и грамматически правильными: используйте связки (for instance, therefore) и законченные предложения. Избегайте незавершённых фраз и повторов. Конкретизируйте, как парки улучшают качество жизни.

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide space for exercise and relaxation. For instance, the large Central Park is popular for running and outdoor fitness, so adding more parks would improve people's health and quality of life.

提案: Устраните заполнители (uh, um) и говорите чёткими предложениями. Объясните конкретно, что привлекает вас в парке (например, кафе, спортивные площадки). Избегайте непонятных словосочетаний («different sailing») и проверьте лексику.

例: Yes, I plan to visit Central Park because it has extensive grounds and many outdoor fitness areas. It also has cafés where you can relax and enjoy a drink after exercising.

× When my when I was a child, I loved to spend my time in at the parks.

✓ When I was a child, I loved to spend my time in the parks.

The sentence contains redundant words and an incorrect preposition use. Remove the repeated 'when' and use 'in the parks' or simply 'at the parks' consistently. Also ensure article use: 'the parks' is appropriate when referring to parks in general that the speaker visited. Suggestion: Say 'When I was a child, I loved to spend my time in the parks.'

× I spend a lot of time at playgrounds.

✓ I spent a lot of time at playgrounds.

Tense error: the context is past (childhood), so present tense 'spend' should be past 'spent'. Suggestion: Use past tense 'spent' to match 'when I was a child'.

× I was walking through the park with my friends.

✓ I used to walk through the park with my friends.

'I was walking' suggests a specific past continuous action; for habitual past actions 'used to walk' or simple past 'walked' is better. Here the speaker describes a habitual childhood activity, so 'used to walk' fits. Suggestion: Use 'used to' or simple past for habitual actions.

× It was amazing feeling to be so close with nature.

✓ It was an amazing feeling to be so close to nature.

Missing article 'an' before 'amazing feeling' and incorrect preposition 'with' should be 'to' when describing closeness to nature. Suggestion: Use 'an amazing feeling' and 'close to nature'.

× I visit parks from time to time.

✓ I visit parks from time to time.

This sentence is acceptable in present tense to describe a current habit. No correction needed. Suggestion: No change required.

× I like watch walking there to watch birds and other animals, and sometimes it's very useful to be in a quiet and peaceful atmosphere because it's relaxing.

✓ I like walking there to watch birds and other animals, and sometimes it's very useful to be in a quiet and peaceful atmosphere because it's relaxing.

Incorrect verb forms: 'like watch walking' is ungrammatical. Use 'like walking' or 'like to walk' before the purpose 'to watch'. Suggestion: Use 'I like walking there to watch...' or 'I like to walk there to watch...'.

× I especially enjoy early morning works when birds are most active.

✓ I especially enjoy early mornings when birds are most active.

'Early morning works' is incorrect; the plural noun 'early mornings' or the phrase 'early morning walks' fits. 'Walks' would be logical if intended. Suggestion: Use 'early mornings' or 'early morning walks' depending on meaning.

× I would like to have more parks in my city because they offer spaces for exercise and are relaxing.

✓ I would like to have more parks in my city because they offer spaces for exercise and are relaxing.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; no article error. No correction needed. Suggestion: No change required.

× For instance, there is a large Central Park in my city where many people go running or use outdoor fitness equipment.

✓ For instance, there is a large central park in my city where many people go running or use outdoor fitness equipment.

If 'Central Park' is a specific proper name, capitalize both words. If speaking generically, use lowercase 'central park'. Maintain consistency. No strict grammatical error beyond choice; adjust capitalization. Suggestion: If it's the official name, keep 'Central Park'; otherwise use 'a large central park.'

× So adding more parks it's a very it's improved quality of.

✓ So adding more parks would greatly improve the quality of life.

This sentence has several structural errors: extraneous 'it's', wrong tense/auxiliary, and missing object 'life'. Correct structure: 'would greatly improve the quality of life' or 'would improve the quality of life a lot.' Suggestion: Use 'would improve the quality of life' for a conditional or hypothetical result.

× Yes, I'm planning to visit Central Park, Uh, it's uh, great place with a huge territory.

✓ Yes, I'm planning to visit Central Park. It's a great place with a huge area.

Combine into two sentences and correct article 'a great place' and word choice 'territory' to 'area' or 'grounds' for a park. Present continuous 'I'm planning' is correct for future arrangement. Suggestion: Use clear sentence boundaries and appropriate nouns like 'area' or 'grounds.'

× Uh, there are a lot of fitness areas for outdoor exercise.

✓ There are a lot of fitness areas for outdoor exercise.

Sentence is acceptable; no change needed. 'A lot of' with plural 'areas' is correct. Suggestion: No change required.

× Also you can, uh, drink something because, uh, it provides, uh, different sailing.

✓ Also you can get something to drink because it provides different stalls/refreshments.

The word 'sailing' is incorrect in this context. Likely intended 'stalls' or 'snacks/refreshments'. 'Get something to drink' is more natural than 'drink something because it provides.' Suggestion: Replace 'sailing' with 'stalls' or 'refreshments' and use 'get something to drink.'