Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise: state a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct grammar (e.g., "go to parks", "relax after homework"), avoid filler words, and keep length under five sentences. Use linking words like "because" or "also" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child because they were a great place to relax after my homework. I often played games with my friends there, and sometimes I did simple yoga stretches with my sisters, which made the afternoons fun and peaceful.

提案: Make the response grammatically correct and more specific: begin with a clear statement, then give concrete reasons and a brief example. Replace vague phrases ("let myself") with precise expressions ("unwind"), and use linking words like "so" or "because" properly.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually go in the evenings after work to unwind because the fresh air and greenery help me relax. For example, I often walk for twenty minutes and sit on a bench to read or listen to music.

提案: Make the answer coherent and relevant: start with a direct statement, then give specific reasons. Avoid irrelevant phrases ("motor lover person") and unclear grammar. Use linking phrases like "because" and "for example" to organize points, and limit to 2–3 supporting details.

例: Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in my city because they provide pleasant green spaces and community areas. For example, new parks with benches, fountains, and walking paths would encourage people to exercise and meet neighbors.

提案: Be concise and correct noun phrases ("the Rose Garden"), state your intention clearly, and add one specific reason or detail. Remove filler words and keep sentences well-formed. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to explain why you want to visit.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Rose Garden near my hometown in the future because my cousins told me it is very beautiful. I want to see the flower displays and take photos while exploring the walking paths.

× Uh, during my childhood period, I did like to go park because I wanted to relax for my haptic work.

✓ During my childhood, I liked to go to the park because I wanted to relax after my hectic work.

Original sentence has awkward phrasing and missing preposition 'to' before 'park'. 'Did like' is unnecessary emphasis; simple past 'liked' is correct. 'Childhood period' is redundant; use 'childhood'. 'Haptic work' is likely a wrong word choice for 'hectic work' meaning busy; corrected to 'hectic work'. Also added 'after' to show sequence. Grammar problem type ID:26

× After that sometime I used to play some games in the park with my friends and also, uh, some daddy yoga there with my girls.

✓ After that, sometimes I used to play games in the park with my friends and do daddy yoga there with my daughters.

Use 'sometimes' not 'sometime' for occasional actions. 'Used to' correctly indicates past habit. 'Play some games' is wordy; 'play games' is natural. 'Do daddy yoga' uses base verb after 'also', not an extra comma. 'Girls' referring to own children is better as 'daughters'. This fits past habitual action. Grammar problem type ID:8

× Frankly speaking, I love to go in parks nowadays because in evening time I finished my work.

✓ Frankly speaking, I love going to parks nowadays because in the evenings I finish my work.

After 'love' use gerund 'going' or 'to go'; 'going to parks' is natural. Use 'in the evenings' for habitual present actions; 'I finished' is past tense and wrong here, change to present 'I finish'. Also use plural 'parks' or 'the park' consistently and 'go to' not 'go in'. Grammar problem type ID:6

× After that I want to let myself.

✓ After that I want to relax.

'Let myself' is unnatural here; use 'relax' or 'give myself a break'. The pronoun use is incorrect and the verb 'let' requires an object and purpose. Keep present simple to match habitual action. Grammar problem type ID:12

× So I often go to park and because it makes my mood and feel comfortable there.

✓ So I often go to the park because it lifts my mood and makes me feel comfortable.

Missing article 'the' before 'park'. 'Makes my mood' is incorrect collocation; use 'lifts my mood'. Also need 'makes me feel comfortable' (object 'me'). Combined sentence had extraneous 'and' removed. Grammar problem type ID:13

× I would definitely I would like to see more parks in my city because I'm motor lover person and they're also going to explore new things such as the fountain, rivers, benches, more trees and greenery as well as and I want to meet with the new people in the park.

✓ I would definitely like to see more parks in my city because I love motors and enjoy exploring new things such as fountains, ponds, benches, more trees and greenery, and I want to meet new people in the park.

Original repeats 'I would' and has awkward noun phrase 'motor lover person'. 'Motors' or 'motor vehicles' clarifies interest. 'They're also going to explore' is incorrect; rephrased to 'and enjoy exploring'. Use plural 'fountains' and 'ponds' (or 'rivers' if intended). Removed extra 'and' and 'with' before 'new people'. Grammar problem is primarily sentence structure and word choice. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Uh, currently speaking, I want the one park which is near my locator hometown that is the Rose garden.

✓ Currently, I want to visit the park near my hometown called the Rose Garden.

'The one park which is near my locator hometown' is wordy and ungrammatical. Use 'the park near my hometown' and 'called the Rose Garden'. Capitalize proper name 'Rose Garden'. 'Locator' is unnecessary. This fixes article use and clarity. Grammar problem type ID:22

× I heard from my cousins it is a very beautiful park, so I want to like go there in my future town and explore new things.

✓ I heard from my cousins that it is a very beautiful park, so I would like to go there when I visit that town and explore new things.

Insert 'that' after 'heard' for a reporting clause. 'I want to like go' is incorrect; use 'I would like to go' or 'I want to go'. 'In my future town' is unclear; use 'when I visit that town' or 'in the future'. Use conditional/modal 'would like' to express desire politely. This addresses verb phrase and sentence structure. Grammar problem type ID:9