Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, uh), correct verb forms and prepositions, and provide one or two specific supporting details. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. My parents took me to a nearby park almost every day so I could play and get exercise. I especially remember playing on the swings and riding my bike with neighborhood friends.

提案: Use present simple to describe regular habits, avoid filler sounds, and correct word choice (family, unwind). Provide coherent supporting detail with linking word(s). Stay within five sentences.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to the park after work. I often walk around the lake there to relax and clear my mind, and sometimes I meet family or friends for a quick coffee. This routine helps me unwind after a busy day.

提案: Avoid repetition and correct grammatical errors (it would be environmentally friendly; 'every time' is awkward). Give a clear reason and a specific example of benefits. Use linking words for coherence.

例: Yes, I would. Building more parks would make the city more environmentally friendly because trees improve air quality and provide shade. For example, new parks could reduce pollution in busy areas and offer safe places for children to play.

提案: State the park clearly and give a concise, grammatically correct reason. Remove repetition and use correct tense and phrasing when referring to events. Add a specific detail about what you want to experience.

例: Yes, I would like to visit the Beijing Olympic Forest Park. I want to go because large events are sometimes held there, and I would like to experience the lively atmosphere and see the sports venues and green spaces.

× my parents often asked me to go to a park nearby my home with them.

✓ my parents often asked me to go to a park near my home with them.

Use 'near' rather than 'nearby' when describing location with a noun phrase like 'my home'. 'Nearby' is an adverb or adjective used before a noun (nearby park) or alone (a nearby park), while 'near my home' is the correct prepositional phrase. Suggestion: say 'near my home' or 'a nearby park'.

× It helped me to exercise and keep health in every single day.

✓ It helped me to exercise and stay healthy every single day.

'Keep health' is not idiomatic; use 'stay healthy' or 'maintain my health'. Also remove 'in' before 'every single day'. Suggestion: use 'stay healthy every day' or 'maintain my health daily'.

× So, umm, I really like to going to parks, uh, when I.

✓ So, umm, I really liked going to parks when I was a child.

After 'like' when referring to an activity, use the gerund form (going) without 'to' (either 'like going' or 'like to go'). The original had both 'to' and gerund. Also complete the clause with 'when I was a child' to match context and past tense. Suggestion: use 'I really liked going to parks' or 'I really liked to go to parks'.

× Every time after work I would like to go to a park near my home.

✓ Every day after work I like to go to a park near my home.

Context asks about current habit, so use simple present tense 'I like' for routines. 'Every time after work' is unnatural; 'every day after work' or 'after work' is better. 'Would like to' expresses desire rather than habitual action. Suggestion: use 'I like to go' or 'I usually go'.

× I can spend time just with my families and friends and like working around the lake in the park.

✓ I can spend time with my family and friends and walk around the lake in the park.

'Families' is incorrect when referring to one's immediate family; use 'family' (uncountable). 'Like working around the lake' is unclear; likely meant 'walking around the lake'. Use correct verb 'walk'. Suggestion: 'spend time with my family and friends and walk around the lake.'

× It helped me to re unwind.

✓ It helped me to relax and unwind.

'Re unwind' is incorrect spacing and form. Use 'relax' or 'unwind' or both. 'Helped me to' followed by base verb is fine: 'helped me to relax'. Suggestion: 'helped me relax' or 'helped me to unwind'.

× And if more parks are built in my city, I think you it would be very environment friendly.

✓ And if more parks are built in my city, I think it would be very environmentally friendly.

Remove stray 'you'. 'Environment friendly' should be 'environmentally friendly' (adverb + adjective) or 'environment-friendly'. 'It' refers to the city or situation, so use 'it'. Suggestion: 'it would be very environmentally friendly.'

× Every time if I go outside, I can feel the good atmosphere and good air, air quality.

✓ Whenever I go outside, I can feel the pleasant atmosphere and good air quality.

'Every time if' is ungrammatical; use 'whenever' or 'every time I go outside'. 'Good atmosphere' is better as 'pleasant atmosphere'. Combine 'air, air quality' into 'air quality'. Suggestion: 'I can feel the pleasant atmosphere and good air quality.'

× Yes, there is a park named the Beijing Olympic National Park.

✓ Yes, there is a park called the Beijing Olympic National Park.

'Named' is acceptable but 'called' is more natural here. Both are grammatical; this suggestion refines style rather than fixing a strict error. Use 'called' for natural spoken English. Suggestion: 'a park called the Beijing Olympic Forest Park' (note: correct official name is Beijing Olympic Forest Park if applicable).

× I would like to travel in the future to visit here there because there would be some big events and held in Beijing.

✓ I would like to travel there in the future because there will be some big events held in Beijing.

The original repeats 'here there' and misorders verbs. Use 'there' (not 'here') and 'will be ... held' for future passive: 'events will be held'. 'Would like to travel there in the future' is the correct expression of desire. Suggestion: 'I would like to travel there in the future because there will be some big events held in Beijing.'

× I would like to travel there and experience the atmosphere.

✓ I would like to travel there and experience the atmosphere.

This sentence is correct. No grammatical change needed. It correctly uses 'would like to' + base verb and coordinates two verbs. No further action required.