Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答は内容が伝わるが、言い淀みが多く文が不明瞭です。まず最初に直接“Yes”や“No”で答え、次に過去の習慣や具体的な場所・アクティビティ（例：遊具、ピクニック）を短い補足文で述べてください。語順を整え、不要な繰り返しや“umm/uh”を減らす練習をしましょう。さらに、1〜2文の中で具体例を入れて自然な流れにすると高得点につながります。

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My parents often took me to the nearest park where there were swings and a small pond, so we would spend hours playing and having picnics.

提案: 答えは肯定しているが、言い直しやフィラーが多く、表現が曖昧です。まず簡潔に習慣を述べ（頻度＋場所）、その後に理由や感想を一つ加えて下さい。例えば“every morning”に続けて“to exercise”や“to relax”など目的を明確にしましょう。語彙を“cozy”や“relaxing”など正確に使う練習を。

例: Yes, I still do. I go to the neighborhood park every morning to exercise and clear my mind, and I find the atmosphere very peaceful and relaxing.

提案: 意図は理解できるが語彙・文法の誤りが多く、意味が取りづらい箇所があります。質問にはまず簡潔に“Yes”/“No”で答え、その後で理由を2点程度具体的に述べましょう（例：緑地が増えると空気が良くなる・住民の運動場所が増える）。“more parks”に関する具体的な希望（場所、設備）を示すと説得力が増します。

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. More green spaces would improve air quality and provide places for people to exercise and relax, especially in densely built neighborhoods.

提案: 答えは抽象的で完結しておらず、言い淀みが多いです。将来行きたい公園を一つ具体的に挙げるか、少なくとも“どんな公園か”を明確に述べてください（例：botanical gardens, national park）。その理由も一つ添え、文を2〜3文でまとめる練習をしましょう。

例: I would like to visit a botanical garden in the future. I love nature, so a park with lots of greenery and colorful flowers would be peaceful and inspiring for me.

× Of course, uh, whenever the child, my parents, umm, often, uh, take me to the park at the nearest park.

✓ Of course. When I was a child, my parents often took me to the nearest park.

This sentence has multiple issues with word order and tense making it hard to understand. Use a clear subordinate clause for time (When I was a child) and the past tense 'took' to match the past action. Reduce filler words and remove redundant phrase 'at the nearest park' in favor of 'to the nearest park' for correct preposition usage.

× Umm, but where is umm, where it's from Niger and there are some uh, attractions.

✓ Umm, but it is near Niger and there are some attractions.

The original mixes unclear phrases and incorrect relative structure. Use a simple clause 'it is near Niger' and keep 'there are some attractions' for existence. Avoid redundant 'where' and incorrect 'it's from Niger.'

× So, so it's probably uh.

✓ So, I guess that's why I liked it.

The fragment 'it's probably uh' is incomplete. Provide a complete thought such as 'I guess that's why I liked it' to clarify meaning and correct sentence structure.

× Yes, umm, umm, every morning I go to, umm, go to my neighborhood, uh, park, uh, for our short time working.

✓ Yes. Every morning I go to the neighborhood park for a short workout.

Original has repetition and wrong noun 'working' for the intended exercise meaning. Use simple present 'go' for habitual action and 'workout' (noun) or 'exercise' instead of 'working.' Also remove filler words.

× Umm, yeah, it's very our cozy and uh yeah, rocks moment for me.

✓ Umm, yeah, it's very cozy and a relaxing moment for me.

'Very our cozy' is grammatically incorrect; use 'very cozy.' 'Rocks moment' is unclear; likely intended 'relaxing moment.' Use the adjective 'relaxing' to modify 'moment.'

× Yes, I sometimes I often think if there are a lot of more perks, especially the other fulfilled with nature or part.

✓ Yes, I often think it would be nice to have more parks, especially those full of nature.

Original contains redundant adverbs 'sometimes I often' and incorrect words 'perks' and 'fulfilled.' Use 'often' alone, 'parks' not 'perks,' and 'full of nature' instead of 'fulfilled with nature.' Also adjust word order for clarity.

× I hope one of the more buildings the shops are built under.

✓ I hope more shops are located beneath the buildings.

The original sentence uses incorrect word order and preposition 'built under.' Use 'located beneath' or 'built under' with clear subject: 'more shops are located beneath the buildings.' This clarifies meaning and corrects preposition placement.

× The number of products has been decreasing.

✓ The number of facilities or visitors has been decreasing.

'Products' is unlikely in context; it makes the sentence awkward. Choose a context-appropriate noun such as 'facilities' or 'visitors.' Also present perfect 'has been decreasing' is fine for ongoing trend; ensure noun matches meaning.

× Whether, as I said, I, I love nature, sorry, it would be nice and, uh, comfortable if, don't worry, umm, parks, uh, with a lot of greeneries and colorful flowers and.

✓ As I said, I love nature. It would be nice and comfortable to have parks with lots of greenery and colorful flowers.

This utterance is full of hesitations and fragments. Split into two clear sentences, remove fillers like 'sorry' and 'don't worry,' and correct 'greeneries' to 'greenery.' Use 'to have parks with lots of' to complete the idea.