Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, fluent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child.), avoid filler words, use correct tense and grammar, and add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Keep it under 4–5 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often visited with my family because the playgrounds and open space let me run around and play games. Also, since I was quite sociable, parks were a great place to meet friends and avoid boredom.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and correct grammar. Combine sentences with linking words (e.g., because, so) and give one specific example of what you do at the park. Keep responses concise and natural.

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially in the evenings. Because my workday is hectic, I walk in the park for about 30 minutes to clear my mind and relieve stress, and I usually sit by the pond to relax.

提案: Answer directly and give one clear reason with specific detail. Avoid unclear phrasing and repetition. Use linking words like because or so to connect your reason to the opinion. Correct grammar (e.g., ‘built’ rather than ‘constructed by the government’ if appropriate).

例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because green spaces improve air quality and give residents places to exercise. For example, a new neighborhood park would encourage families to spend time outdoors and reduce overcrowding in existing parks.

提案: Give a clear and relevant answer. If you do not have a preference, say so and provide a reason or alternative (e.g., you prefer other activities). Avoid hesitation and incomplete sentences; use one or two supporting details and a linking word.

例: Honestly, I don't have any specific park I want to visit in the future because I usually prefer travelling to new cities or hiking in nature reserves instead. However, if a well-designed botanical garden opened nearby, I would consider visiting to learn about local plants.

× Yes, in childhood period, I, uh, like to go parks because I think it is a kind of recreational activity and some people are involved in the parks.

✓ Yes, in my childhood I liked going to parks because I thought they were a recreational activity and many people visited them.

The student uses present tense 'like' and 'think' for past time 'childhood' so change to past tense (liked, thought). 'Go parks' is incorrect verb + plural noun; use 'go to parks' or 'going to parks'. Use 'my childhood' instead of 'in childhood period' for natural phrasing. Use 'many people visited them' instead of 'are involved in the parks'. Suggestions: match verb tense to time frame, use 'go to' or gerund 'going to', and use natural noun phrases like 'my childhood'.

× And as I am an extrovert person.

✓ And I was an extroverted person.

The student mixes present 'am' with past context; change to past tense 'was'. Use adjective 'extroverted' rather than the noun phrase 'extrovert person'. Suggestion: use 'I was extroverted' or 'I was an extrovert' for past descriptions.

× So that's why it is a kind of stress procedure to me in my childhood.

✓ So it was a way for me to relieve stress during my childhood.

The phrase 'stress procedure' is unnatural and unclear. Use 'a way to relieve stress' and change tense to past 'was' to match childhood. 'To me in my childhood' is awkward; use 'for me during my childhood'. Suggestion: express purpose with 'a way to' and use natural collocations like 'relieve stress'.

× Yes, I like to go parks on daily basis after my hectic schedule I feel stressful and my mind feel full of thoughts and negative emotions.

✓ Yes, I like to go to parks on a daily basis; after a hectic day I feel stressed and my mind is full of thoughts and negative emotions.

Use 'go to parks' and 'on a daily basis' fixed phrase. 'After my hectic schedule' is incorrect; use 'after a hectic day'. 'I feel stressful' wrongly uses adjective for subject; use 'I feel stressed'. 'My mind feel' needs subject-verb agreement: 'my mind is full'. Suggestions: correct preposition 'to', use 'stressed' for feelings, and ensure verb agreement.

× And when in the evenings I go to park daily because I rejuvenate my mind and feel happy and relaxed.

✓ In the evenings I go to the park daily because it rejuvenates my mind and makes me feel happy and relaxed.

Use definite article 'the park' when referring to the park you visit regularly. 'I rejuvenate my mind' is unnatural; use 'it rejuvenates my mind' or 'going there rejuvenates me'. Also add 'makes me' for 'feel'. Maintain simple present for habitual actions. Suggestion: use subject 'it' or gerund 'going' to describe effect and include 'the' before 'park'.

× Yes, I live in a city area and there are a lot of parks nearby.

✓ Yes, I live in a city area and there are a lot of parks nearby.

This sentence is acceptable but 'a city area' is slightly awkward; you can say 'the city' or 'an urban area'. No grammatical change strictly needed. Suggestion: prefer 'I live in the city' or 'I live in an urban area' for naturalness.

× My house and the parks are easily constructed by the government and the Municipal Corporation in our society and moreover, the more of more people are engaged in the parks and to do a variety of.

✓ The parks and facilities near my house were built by the municipal corporation, and many people use them for various activities.

Original has tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing ('easily constructed', 'in our society', 'the more of more people', 'to do a variety of.'). Use past tense 'were built' if referring to completed construction. Replace 'easily constructed by the government and the Municipal Corporation in our society' with 'were built by the municipal corporation'. 'Many people use them for various activities' is concise and grammatical. Suggestion: simplify and use correct verbs and quantifiers ('many people', 'various activities').

× To be honest, I don't want to go parks in the future because my, uh, I don't think these type of question in my mind and whenever I.

✓ To be honest, I don't plan to go to parks in the future because I don't usually think about these types of questions.

Use 'go to parks' not 'go parks'. 'Don't want to go parks in the future' is acceptable but 'don't plan to go' is more natural. 'These type of question' has number agreement error; use 'these types of questions' or 'this type of question'. Sentence was incomplete;finish idea. Suggestions: use 'plan to' for future intention, correct noun pluralization 'types of questions', and complete the sentence.