Parks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct, more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tenses, reduce filler words (uh), and add one specific detail to support your feeling.

例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because my parents often took me on picnics. I especially enjoyed playing on the swings and slides, and those afternoons made me feel carefree and happy.

提案: Make the response more concise and vary vocabulary. Use linking words to connect activities and provide a short specific example (when or with whom). Avoid repetition like 'like' and awkward phrases ('in under the fresh air').

例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I go there to run and walk for exercise, and sometimes I meet friends to play volleyball, for example, we play every Sunday morning.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and give precise reasons with linking words. Remove fillers and correct grammar (singular/plural agreement). Add one concrete example of benefit (shade, recreation, cleaner air).

例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they would make the urban environment greener and more attractive. For instance, additional trees would provide shade and help reduce air pollution, improving residents' health.

提案: Be specific and concise: name the park, explain why you want to return, and use correct tense. Remove fillers and avoid repeating the same phrase. Add one detail about what you would do there to show emotional connection.

例: Yes, I would love to visit Hyde Park in London again because I lived nearby for three years and it brings back fond memories. I hope to walk around the Serpentine and sit by the lake to relive those moments.

× Yes, I like to go to parks as a child, uh, because I loved uh, playing on a swing and slides and my parents, uh, was taking me to the parks to go to a picnic and it was awesome.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child because I loved playing on swings and slides, and my parents took me to the parks for picnics; it was awesome.

The question asks about past habits, so use past tense consistently. 'I like' should be 'I liked' (present tense issue). Use gerund 'going' for habitual action. 'Playing on a swing and slides' is inconsistent: use plural 'swings and slides'. Subject-verb agreement: 'my parents was taking' is incorrect; use simple past 'my parents took'. Also use 'for picnics' or 'to have picnics' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and match subject and verb number.

× Yes, I still like going to parks nowadays and I love them because I like running over there and sometimes taking a walk and meeting my friends in under the fresh air and I can play volleyball as well.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks nowadays because I enjoy running there, sometimes taking walks, meeting my friends in the fresh air, and I can play volleyball as well.

Multiple present tense and phrasing issues: 'like going' is acceptable but 'I like running over there' is awkward; use 'running there'. 'Taking a walk' should be pluralized for habitual action: 'taking walks'. 'Meeting my friends in under the fresh air' is incorrect preposition use and word order: use 'meeting my friends in the fresh air'. Streamline parallel verbs: 'running, taking walks, meeting'. Suggestion: keep present simple for habits and use correct prepositions and parallel structure.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because with parks, uh, the city look will be more beautiful and attractive and the air pollution would be uh, less if we had more parks in our cities.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks make the city look more beautiful and attractive, and air pollution would be less if we had more parks.

'the city look will be' has incorrect word order and verb agreement: 'city look' should be 'city look' as a noun phrase is wrong; use 'make the city look' or 'the city would look'. Also 'the air pollution would be less' can be shortened to 'air pollution would be less' or 'there would be less air pollution'. Suggestion: use 'make' with plural noun 'parks' to show cause, and correct word order for clarity.

× Yes, there is a park. I would like to go there again because I was living in London for three years and uh, there is a park called Hyde Park and I would like to go there again to recall my memories and, uh, living in that atmosphere again.

✓ Yes, there is a park I would like to visit again. I lived in London for three years, and there is a park called Hyde Park; I would like to visit it to recall my memories and to experience that atmosphere again.

Use of tenses and 'there is' repetition is awkward. 'I was living in London for three years' should be simple past 'I lived in London for three years' for a finished period. 'There is a park called Hyde Park and I would like to go there again to recall my memories and, uh, living in that atmosphere again' has parallelism errors: use infinitives 'to recall' and 'to experience' for parallel structure. Also replace repeated 'there is' and 'go there' with clearer phrasing. Suggestion: use simple past for past residence and parallel infinitives for reasons.