Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện tính tự nhiên và mạch lạc bằng cách tránh lặp từ và câu dài; thêm câu chủ đề rõ ràng, dùng liên từ để nối ý, và cung cấp một chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ loại góc hoặc bối cảnh bạn thích). Hạn chế số câu không quá 5 và dùng từ vựng phong phú hơn thay vì lặp lại “take pictures”.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different scenes. I often shoot in local cafés or on busy streets because I like capturing candid moments and interesting angles. For example, I like close-up shots of coffee cups and wide shots of people chatting, which help convey my personal style.

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và rõ ràng bằng cách dùng thì đúng (e.g., "I'm used to living in cities"), tránh cụm từ mơ hồ như “something” và mở rộng bằng lý do cụ thể. Sử dụng một hoặc hai liên từ để nối ý (because, for example) và cung cấp ví dụ cụ thể về đối tượng chụp trong thành phố.

例: I prefer urban areas because I'm used to living in cities and there is a lot to photograph. For example, I enjoy shooting street life, architecture and small cafés, which offer varied textures and interesting people to capture.

提案: Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (số ít/nhất quán: "other countries have", "I prefer to live" hoặc "I prefer photographing my own country") và làm rõ ý bằng cấu trúc chủ đề + lý do. Thêm một ví dụ cụ thể về nơi trong nước bạn muốn khám phá để tăng độ cụ thể và thuyết phục.

例: Although other countries have many spectacular landscapes, I prefer photographing my own country because it has unique scenes I haven't explored yet. For instance, I want to visit the northern mountains to capture terraced fields and traditional villages.

× I like taking pictures of different views, like a local cafe or any angles that I can think of.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views, such as a local cafe or any angles that I can think of.

The phrase 'like a local cafe' is acceptable but 'such as' is more appropriate for listing examples; no major grammatical error with -ing form. Suggest using 'such as' for clarity and stylistic correctness.

× And I think taking photos of different views can express myself and my vibe.

✓ And I think taking photos of different views can express who I am and my vibe.

'Express myself' is not grammatically wrong, but when describing identity, 'express who I am' is clearer. The present participle 'taking' is used correctly. Suggest clearer phrasing to convey meaning.

× I prefer urban areas because I get used to live in cities and I think there are a lot of things I can take photo of in cities, like a local cafe or something.

✓ I prefer urban areas because I am used to living in cities, and I think there are a lot of things I can photograph in cities, such as a local cafe.

Incorrect: 'get used to live' should be 'am used to living' because 'used to' followed by a noun/gerund. 'Take photo of' is incorrect collocation; use 'photograph' or 'take photos of'. Also replace 'like' with 'such as' for examples.

× All the other countries has many spectacular views and sceneries, but I preferred live in my own country and taking photograph of them because I think that my country has its own unique views and landscape that I haven't discovered.

✓ Other countries have many spectacular views and scenery, but I prefer living in my own country and photographing them because I think that my country has its own unique views and landscapes that I haven't discovered.

Multiple errors: 'All the other countries has' should be 'Other countries have' (subject-verb agreement and unnecessary 'all the'). 'Preferred live' wrong tense and form; should be 'prefer living' (present preference). 'Taking photograph of' should be 'photographing them'. 'Sceneries' is uncountable; use 'scenery' or 'landscapes'. Also maintain consistent present tense for preference.