Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you like taking pictures, then give one or two specific supporting details (when, what you photograph, why). Avoid repetition and incorrect word choices (e.g. "radiographer" and "geographer" are wrong here). Keep to 2–4 sentences and use simple, accurate vocabulary.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. I’ve enjoyed photography since I was a child and often take photos of landscapes and city scenes. I find it relaxing and it helps me notice little details I would otherwise miss.

提案: Answer clearly and give specific reasons with linking words. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then add 1–2 concrete reasons using linking words such as "because" or "so". Reduce filler words ("umm", repeated phrases) and choose more precise vocabulary (e.g. "peaceful", "less crowded").

例: I prefer rural views because they are peaceful and less crowded than cities. For example, I like photographing fields and small villages since the natural light and calm atmosphere make the photos more attractive.

提案: Give a concise answer and explain briefly with a reason and a plan. State your preference, then explain why (lack of travel, desire to explore home) and finish with a short future intention. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: I prefer views in my own country for now because I haven’t traveled abroad much and I want to explore my homeland first. Later, I hope to visit other countries to compare different landscapes and cultures.

× Since I was a kid, I loved taking pictures until now.

✓ Since I was a kid, I have loved taking pictures until now.

The original sentence uses simple past 'loved' with a time span continuing to the present ('until now'). Use the present perfect 'have loved' to show an action that began in the past and continues to the present. Suggestion: use present perfect for actions lasting to now.

× That's why I take my course radiographer because I like to take pictures because as a child I believe a geographer takes pictures.

✓ That's why I took a radiography course, because I like taking pictures; as a child, I believed a geographer took pictures.

The original is awkward and repetitive with mixed tenses and incorrect noun form 'course radiographer'. Corrected version: 'took a radiography course' (appropriate noun order), use 'like taking' (verb + -ing) and consistent past 'believed' for the childhood belief. Remove redundant 'because' and use punctuation to clarify clauses.

× I prepare, I prefer views of rural areas because life there is very simple and very organic, like natural.

✓ I prefer views of rural areas because life there is very simple and very natural.

The word 'prepare' is unnecessary and likely intended as 'perhaps' or filler; remove it. 'Organic' and 'natural' are redundant; choose 'natural'. Use 'prefer' simple present to state general preference. Suggestion: avoid filler words and redundant adjectives.

× There is no umm, pressure and it's, that's all it's, it's natural.

✓ There is no pressure; it's natural.

The original includes fillers and repeated fragments. Use 'there is no pressure' (correct article usage with uncountable noun 'pressure') and a concise follow-up 'it's natural.' Remove redundant phrases and fillers to improve clarity.

× I really haven't traveled or I haven't really gone in another country, so I believe I'm I prefer my own country first.

✓ I haven't really traveled to another country, so I prefer my own country first.

Use 'traveled to another country' (correct preposition 'to' not 'in'). Remove redundant 'I really haven't' and awkward 'I'm I prefer'. Present perfect 'haven't really traveled' is correct for life experience; 'prefer' in simple present states a current general preference.

× I want to explore my own country first before going to other countries.

✓ I want to explore my own country first before going to other countries.

Sentence is grammatically correct. 'Want to explore' expresses a present desire about future action; 'before going to other countries' correctly shows sequence. No change needed.