Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific reason or example. Use linking words for coherence and keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because they inspire me and help me relax. For example, I enjoy photographing sunsets at the beach since the colors change quickly and I can capture different moods. Also, taking photos lets me share these moments with friends.

提案: Provide a clear preference or explicitly say you like both, then give specific contrasting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and keep sentences concise.

例: I like both urban and rural views because they offer different attractions. For instance, urban areas have interesting architecture and lively streets, whereas rural areas offer peaceful green fields and fresh air that benefit people's health. Therefore, I choose depending on my mood.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of preference or balanced view, then give specific examples and reasons. Use linking words (e.g., however, for example) properly and correct vague or incorrect words (e.g., 'deals' -> 'views' or 'places').

例: I generally prefer views in my own country because I feel comfortable there and enjoy familiar places like shopping malls and well-maintained parks. However, I also appreciate views abroad since each country has unique landscapes and cultural scenes, which I find fascinating and inspiring.

× Well, if I say the truth, I really love taking pictures of the views because whenever I see them, I feel some beautiful things when I when I see them.

✓ Well, to tell the truth, I really love taking pictures of views because whenever I see them, I feel happy and inspired.

The phrase 'if I say the truth' is incorrect collocation; correct phrase is 'to tell the truth'. 'Pictures of the views' is wordy; 'pictures of views' or 'pictures of them' is more natural. 'I feel some beautiful things' is unidiomatic; use specific adjectives like 'happy' or 'inspired'. Also remove the repeated fragment 'when I when I see them'. Suggestion: use natural collocations and specific adjectives to express emotions. Grammar problem type ID: 13.

× Actually, I prefer both of them 'cause both of them have their own beautiful views which makes me feel cold for, for example, in rural areas there are a lot of green areas, which is good for people's health and other things.

✓ Actually, I prefer both because each has its own beautiful views that affect me differently; for example, rural areas have a lot of greenery, which is good for people's health.

The original sentence has run-on and unclear structure: 'both of them' repeated, 'which makes me feel cold for' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use 'each' or 'both' without repetition. 'Makes me feel cold for' is incorrect phrase choice; likely intended 'affect me' or similar. 'Green areas' is better as 'greenery'. Break into clauses and use appropriate relative pronoun 'that' or 'which' correctly. Suggestion: simplify, avoid repetition, and use clear connectors. Grammar problem type ID: 26.

× I prefer the deals in my own country 'cause there is a lot of things which makes me comfortable when I was there, for example shopping malls and parks and so on.

✓ I prefer the sights in my own country because there are many things that make me feel comfortable when I am there, for example shopping malls and parks.

'The deals' is an incorrect collocation here; 'sights' or 'places' fits context. 'There is a lot of things' mixes singular 'is' with plural 'things' — should be 'there are many things' (plural agreement). 'Which makes me comfortable when I was there' mixes tenses; keep present tense 'when I am there' to match general preference. Avoid 'and so on' in formal answers. Suggestion: use correct nouns, match subject-verb number, and maintain consistent tense. Grammar problem type ID: 1.

× However, I also prefer other countries views because every country has its own unique landscape.

✓ However, I also prefer views in other countries because every country has its own unique landscape.

'Other countries views' lacks the preposition 'in' and needs possessive or noun phrase: 'views in other countries' or 'other countries' views' with an apostrophe. 'Other countries' views' would require punctuation; simpler is 'views in other countries'. Ensure prepositions are used correctly. Suggestion: include 'in' to form correct noun phrase and maintain clear meaning. Grammar problem type ID: 11