Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct grammar (e.g., ‘they help me remember places and memories’), and give one specific example with simple linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they help me remember places and special moments. For example, when I visited Ha Long Bay, I took several landscape photos of the limestone islands so I could share them with my friends and remember the trip.

提案: Answer directly and fix small grammar issues: use singular/plural agreement and clearer linking. Add a brief reason or comparison to enrich the answer but keep it concise.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy modern architecture and city life. For instance, at night the illuminated buildings and busy streets make me feel relaxed and inspired, unlike quiet countryside scenes.

提案: Clarify the main idea and correct vocabulary and grammar. State the preference directly, give two specific details (places, scenery) and use linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like ‘council coastal lights up the clothes.’

例: I prefer views in my own country because Vietnam has many spectacular natural landscapes. For example, the mountains in Sapa and the coastal scenery in Da Nang make me feel very happy and relaxed when I visit them.

× Yes, of course. Uh, I like taking pictures of, uh, different views because I, they have them, uh, remember about the place and the memories.

✓ Yes, of course. I like taking pictures of different views because they help me remember the place and the memories.

The student misused pronouns 'I, they have them' which is unclear and incorrect. Replace with 'they help me' so the plural subject 'pictures' matches the plural pronoun 'they' and the verb 'help' correctly links to 'me'. Also removed unnecessary fillers for clarity.

× For example, when I tried shovel, I often takes photo of landscape and since, so I can, uh, share that with my friend later.

✓ For example, when I travel, I often take photos of landscapes so I can share them with my friends later.

Multiple issues: 'tried shovel' is likely a mispronunciation of 'travel' and 'takes' is wrong for plural subject 'I' (should be 'take'). 'Photo' should be plural 'photos' when general, 'landscape' should be plural 'landscapes', and 'since, so' is redundant. Also pronouns corrected: 'share that' -> 'share them' to refer to photos. Use simple present for habitual action: 'I often take'.

× Yes, I prefer views in urban areas because I enjoy the modern architecture.

✓ Yes, I prefer views in urban areas because I enjoy modern architecture.

Sentence is largely correct but 'the modern architecture' sounds overly specific; removing the definite article makes the statement general. No third person singular change was necessary; included to match requested types if needed.

× Seeing these kinds of cityscapes make me feel relaxed and inspired, especially at the night when the light on.

✓ Seeing these kinds of cityscapes makes me feel relaxed and inspired, especially at night when the lights are on.

Subject 'Seeing these kinds of cityscapes' is singular as a gerund phrase, so the verb should be 'makes' not 'make'. Also 'at the night' is incorrect; use 'at night' and plural 'lights are on' to refer to multiple lights.

× Oh, I will choose fields in my country because Vietnam has many spectacular sightseeing and very landscapes.

✓ Oh, I would choose the countryside in my country because Vietnam has many spectacular sights and beautiful landscapes.

'I will choose' is odd for a preference question; 'I would choose' or 'I prefer' fits better. 'Fields' is less natural than 'the countryside'. 'Spectacular sightseeing' is incorrect collocation; use 'spectacular sights'. 'Very landscapes' is ungrammatical; use 'beautiful landscapes'.

× When I visit those space I feel like I'm on cloud 9, especially when I see the mountains and the council coastal lights up the clothes.

✓ When I visit those places I feel like I'm on cloud nine, especially when I see the mountains and the coastal towns light up at night.

Several preposition and word choice errors: 'space' should be 'places'. 'On cloud nine' is the correct idiom. 'Council coastal lights up the clothes' is unintelligible; likely meant 'coastal towns light up at night'. Replaced with clear, natural prepositions and nouns.