Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct basic grammar, and give specific examples using linking words. For instance, say why you like it, what you photograph, and who you share them with. Avoid repetition and unclear words.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing different scenes because it helps me remember places. For example, when I visit a park I often take close-up shots of flowers and wide shots of tree-lined paths. I usually edit the best ones and send them to my girlfriend so she can see what I saw.

提案: Answer directly and use correct vocabulary. Say which you prefer and give 1–2 specific reasons supported by linking words. Correct unclear phrases and avoid numbers or words that don't fit.

例: I prefer rural or green areas. For example, I often go to my local park where I can photograph birds and trees, which I find more relaxing than city scenes. Because the countryside is quieter, I can focus on capturing natural details.

提案: Be clearer and more structured. State a clear preference (or say you like both) and give contrasting reasons using linking words (for example, 'on the other hand'). Remove filler words and repeat country name only once. Provide specific details about what you like photographing in each place.

例: I enjoy photographing both in my home country, Japan, and abroad. In Japan I like capturing seasonal scenes such as cherry blossoms and traditional streets, while abroad I enjoy photographing unfamiliar architecture and landscapes. On the other hand, foreign views often inspire me because they offer new perspectives.

× Yes I agree taking a picture with different view for example when I go to a pair and I usually take some photos such as flower trees but something and I usually send them to my girlfriend.

✓ Yes. I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, when I go to a park I usually take photos of flowers and trees, and I often send them to my girlfriend.

The original sentence has run-on structure, missing articles, incorrect word choice ('agree' instead of 'enjoy', 'pair' instead of 'park') and vague phrases ('but something'). Reorganize into clear sentences, replace incorrect words, add articles ('a park', 'the photos' not needed here) and use parallel nouns ('flowers and trees'). Suggested practice: break long thoughts into shorter sentences and check each noun for correct spelling and article use.

× for example when I go to a pair and I usually take some photos such as flower trees

✓ For example, when I go to a park I usually take some photos of flowers and trees.

The speaker used pluralization incorrectly and misspelled 'park' as 'pair'. Also 'flower trees' is not a correct plural compound; separate nouns 'flowers and trees' are required. Ensure count nouns use correct plural forms and separate items with 'and'.

× I usually send them to my girlfriend.

✓ I usually send them to my girlfriend.

This sentence is actually correct in present simple tense to describe habitual action. No change needed; keep present simple for routines. Included here to confirm correct tense usage.

× Well I would say I like a local area because as I said I often go to a park and I really enjoy taking nature such as birds, 3 throwers.

✓ Well, I would say I like local areas because, as I said, I often go to a park and I really enjoy photographing nature, such as birds and flowers.

Original has odd article use ('a local area'), unclear phrase 'taking nature', and '3 throwers' is unintelligible (likely 'flowers'). Correct by using plural 'local areas' or 'the local area', use verb 'photographing' or 'taking pictures of' with 'nature', and list examples correctly. Practice using accurate vocabulary and avoid numerals in speech transcripts.

× I really enjoy taking nature such as birds

✓ I really enjoy taking pictures of nature, such as birds.

The verb 'take' when referring to photos requires the preposition 'of' ('take pictures of'). Without 'of' the phrase is ungrammatical. Use 'take pictures of' or 'photograph'. Try forming 'take pictures of + noun'.

× Well, I would say I enjoy both viewing, uh, whenever I'm in home country, uh, and my home country, home country, actually Japan, but I would say I like, uh, taking the home country.

✓ Well, I would say I enjoy views in both my home country and other countries. My home country is Japan, and I like taking photos there.

Original is repetitive, missing possessive determiner 'my' before 'home country', and uses 'taking the home country' which is ungrammatical. Restructure to two clear sentences, add 'my', and use 'taking photos there' to express photographing in Japan.

× whenever I'm in home country

✓ whenever I'm in my home country

The possessive pronoun 'my' is required before 'home country'. Omitting it makes the phrase ungrammatical. Always include appropriate possessive pronouns when referring to personal belongings or places.

× But on the other hand, when I go to other country, I enjoy of them.

✓ But on the other hand, when I go to other countries, I enjoy their views.

Original misuses 'enjoy of them' (incorrect preposition and pronoun) and uses singular 'other country' where plural or 'another country' is better. Correct by using plural 'other countries' and say 'enjoy their views' or 'enjoy them' without 'of'. Use correct pronoun agreement and prepositions.