Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but could be more natural and specific. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a brief reason and a concrete example. Avoid vague phrases like "expands my horizon in my surroundings" and replace them with clearer language such as how photography helps you notice details or remember places. Keep the response to no more than 3–4 sentences and use a linking word when adding details.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it helps me notice details I might otherwise miss. For example, when I photograph a park I often focus on the contrast between sunlight and shadow, which makes the scene more interesting. This hobby also lets me keep memories of places I visit.

提案: Good direct answer and reason. Improve by using a stronger topic sentence and adding a specific detail or example to support your preference. Use a linking word (for example, because, since) to connect your reason, and avoid time fillers like "As of right now" unless necessary. Keep it concise and natural.

例: I prefer views in urban areas because I find the architecture and skyscrapers fascinating. For example, I enjoy photographing the glass facades at sunset when they reflect the sky, which creates dramatic effects. This contrast between old and new buildings always catches my eye.

提案: Your answer is honest but a little repetitive. Begin with a clear topic sentence and then explain specifically what "its own charm" means—mention particular features, cultural elements, or memories. Use a linking word to add contrast (e.g., "although" or "even though") and avoid repeating the preference twice.

例: I prefer views in my own country, even though other countries may be more scenic. For example, I appreciate the historic neighborhoods and local festivals here, which give the places a unique atmosphere. Those cultural elements make photographing my country more meaningful to me.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because it expands my horizon in my surroundings.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because they expand my horizons in my surroundings.

The subject 'taking pictures of different views' is a plural/collective idea referring to photos, so the pronoun should be plural ('they') and 'horizon' is usually used in the plural when speaking about one’s general perspective ('horizons'). Use 'they expand my horizons' to match number and idiomatic expression.

× As of right now, I prefer urban areas because I'm fascinated with different skyscrapers around my area.

✓ Right now, I prefer urban areas because I'm fascinated by the different skyscrapers in my area.

Use 'fascinated by' rather than 'with' for the typical collocation. 'Around my area' is redundant; use 'in my area'. Also 'As of right now' is wordy; 'Right now' is more natural. These are usage and preposition choices within verb + -ing context.

× I prefer my own country, even though it's not as pretty as it is in different countries.

✓ I prefer my own country, even though it is not as pretty as some other countries.

The original uses unclear comparison 'as it is in different countries' and repeats 'it' awkwardly. Replace with 'some other countries' to make the comparison clear and grammatically smooth. This corrects the comparative structure and pronoun reference.

× I prefer mine because it has its own charm.

✓ I prefer mine because it has its own charm.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It clearly refers to 'my country' and uses appropriate pronoun and verb agreement.