Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and provide one or two specific details using linking words. Reduce filler words and correct collocations (e.g., “take photos” or “I’m an amateur photographer”).

例: Yes, I do. I'm an amateur photographer and I enjoy taking photos of plants and skies because they change a lot with light. For example, I often photograph the same tree at sunrise and sunset to capture different colours.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and explain reasons with specific examples. Use linking words (because, for instance) and correct sentence structure. Avoid unclear phrases and hesitations like “there is a thing” or nonverbal fillers.

例: I prefer urban views because I find modern buildings and bridges visually interesting. For instance, I like photographing highways and unique architectural structures at night because the lights and lines create strong compositions.

提案: Start with a clear statement and reduce hesitations. Give organized supporting points using linking words (for example, also). Be specific about locations or contrasts and avoid vague lists. Fix grammar (e.g., “skyscrapers”, “traditional areas”).

例: I prefer views in my own country because it offers a mix of landscapes and cityscapes. For example, you can find snowy mountains and rural hills in the north, while the capital city has modern skyscrapers and historic neighbourhoods, so there is always something new to photograph.

× I am a photographer for in my opinion, I'm a photographer for myself.

✓ In my opinion, I'm a photographer for myself.

The phrase 'for in my opinion' has incorrect word order and redundant preposition 'for'. Begin the sentence with the discourse marker 'In my opinion' followed by the main clause. Remove the extra 'for' to make the sentence grammatical and natural. Suggestion: Use 'In my opinion, ...' at the start of an opinion sentence and avoid inserting unnecessary prepositions.

× I love to click pictures of different plants, different skies, different buildings, towers and sceneries.

✓ I love to take pictures of different plants, skies, buildings, towers, and scenery.

'Click pictures' is informal and nonstandard; use 'take pictures'. 'Different skies' and 'different buildings' are acceptable but listing 'different' repeatedly is redundant. 'Sceneries' is incorrect: 'scenery' is an uncountable noun. Also include a serial comma and remove repeated 'different' for fluency. Suggestion: Use 'take pictures' and the uncountable noun 'scenery'.

× I prefer view in urban areas to be honest.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas, to be honest.

The singular 'view' does not agree with the plural context 'areas'. Use plural 'views' to match 'areas'. Also insert a comma and the phrase 'to be honest' at the end for natural flow. Suggestion: Match noun number to context: plural areas -> plural views.

× There is a thing where I am fascinated to build things to the highways, different type of structure which is very unique in such a way they have been made.

✓ I'm fascinated by the way structures are built along the highways; the different types of structures are very unique.

Original sentence has multiple structural problems: awkward 'There is a thing where', incorrect verb pattern 'fascinated to build things to the highways', wrong phrase 'different type of structure' (should be plural 'types of structures'), and unclear relative clause 'in such a way they have been made'. Use 'fascinated by' with a noun phrase or gerund, pluralize 'types of structures', and rephrase to passive 'are built' or 'the way they are made' for clarity. Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb structure, correct prepositions ('by' for being fascinated), pluralize nouns as needed, and use passive or relative clauses correctly.

× Definitely MMM.

✓ Definitely.

'MMM' is nonstandard filler and not grammatical. Use a clear discourse marker like 'Definitely' to indicate agreement. Suggestion: Avoid unclear fillers in formal responses.

× I would definitely at any time prefer views in my own country 'cause my country is literally a mixture of mountains, uh, snow, then hills, then with urban technology, skycrapers and at the same time you'll find a proper traditional.

✓ I would definitely prefer views in my own country because my country is a mixture of mountains, snow, hills, urban technology, and skyscrapers, and at the same time you can find traditional areas.

Remove redundant modal adverb 'at any time' which is unnecessary with 'would definitely prefer'. Use 'because' instead of colloquial ''cause'. List items in parallel form and correct spelling 'skyscrapers'. 'You'll find a proper traditional' is incomplete and ungrammatical; replace with 'you can find traditional areas' or 'proper traditional culture'. Maintain conditional/modal consistency: 'I would prefer' is fine for polite preference. Suggestion: Keep modal expressions concise ('would definitely prefer'), use 'because' for reasons, ensure parallel lists, and complete noun phrases for clarity.