Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then give one or two brief reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Focus on natural phrasing and correct tense/subject-verb agreement.

例: No, I don't really enjoy taking photos of different views. Although many people like experimenting with angles and backgrounds, I feel that photographs of me usually turn out the same, so I rarely change the view. However, I can understand why others enjoy it because different perspectives can highlight interesting details.

提案: Give a direct answer first and then provide specific reasons using linking words. Reduce filler words (umm, uh) and correct article use and plurality (a rural area, the capital city). Add one or two concrete examples to support your preference.

例: I prefer rural views. Since I live in Budapest, I see the same urban scenes every day, so I enjoy the peace and natural scenery of the countryside. For example, I like walking in fields and by lakes because they feel refreshing and different from the busy streets of the city.

提案: Answer clearly and avoid vague phrasing. Start with a direct statement, then explain specific reasons and give a clear preference. Replace fillers and incorrect words (e.g., 'wear' -> 'been', 'look at the word' -> 'see the world'). Mention one or two specific countries or sights to be concrete.

例: I prefer views in other countries. Although I have visited many places in Hungary, I want to travel abroad to experience different cultures and landscapes. For instance, I dream of visiting Japan to see its temples and cherry blossoms, and Italy to admire historic cityscapes.

× No, I think every picture it would be the same because if I look great, I look great.

✓ No, I think every picture would be the same because if I look great, I look great.

The pronoun 'it' is unnecessary and incorrect here. Remove 'it' to make the sentence grammatically correct and natural: 'every picture would be the same.' Keep the conditional structure consistent by using 'would' for the prediction about pictures.

× If I don't look great I don't look great.

✓ If I don't look great, I don't look great.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but missing a comma after the subordinate clause. Add a comma for clear punctuation. The present tense is used correctly to describe a general truth about photographs.

× But I don't care if I take a picture in another view because I think it won't be better.

✓ But I don't care if I take a picture from another angle because I don't think it will be better.

'In another view' is unnatural; 'from another angle' or 'in another view' should be replaced with 'from another angle.' Also change 'it won't be better' to 'I don't think it will be better' to match the subject and maintain clear opinion expression. Use 'will' rather than the contraction 'won't' in formal correction, though either is acceptable.

× But a lot of people love to do that and I can understand why they are doing this and not professional.

✓ But a lot of people love to do that, and I can understand why they do it even if they are not professional.

The original mixes tenses and uses 'doing this and not professional' which is ungrammatical. Replace 'are doing this' with 'do it' for a general habit, and clarify 'not professional' with 'even if they are not professional' to form a complete clause.

× I'm just love.

✓ I just love it.

'I'm just love' is ungrammatical because 'love' is a verb and cannot follow 'am' in this sense. Use 'I just love it' to express the speaker's liking; include object 'it' to clarify what is loved.

× Umm, it depends, I live in a in a big city in the capital city of Hungary.

✓ Umm, it depends; I live in a big city, the capital of Hungary.

Remove the duplicated 'in a' and use the definite article 'the' before 'capital' because it is a specific title. Use punctuation to separate clauses for clarity.

× That's why I love to umm, be in a rural areas or look at the view, uh, in a rural areas because umm, I saw everything in my city and I think it's quite boring.

✓ That's why I love to be in rural areas or look at the views in the countryside, because I have seen everything in my city and I think it's quite boring.

Mixing singular article 'a' with plural 'rural areas' is incorrect. Use 'rural areas' without 'a' or use singular 'the countryside' or 'a rural area.' Also 'saw' should be 'have seen' to indicate life experience up to now. 'View' should be plural if referring to different scenes: 'views.'

× So I would like to try or look at something new.

✓ So I would like to try something new or see something new.

The original 'try or look at something new' is awkward. Pair 'would like to' with an appropriate verb: 'try' or 'see.' Use 'see something new' to match 'look at' meaning. This keeps the modal 'would like to' correct.

× It depends. I wear uh, in a lot of place in my country.

✓ It depends. I have been to a lot of places in my country.

'I wear' is incorrect verb choice; likely intended 'I was' or 'I have been.' 'In a lot of place' should be plural 'a lot of places.' Use present perfect 'have been' to express experience.

× That's why I want to, uh, go abroad and uh, look at the word or look at new culture, new new, umm, views and for sure I have a lot of countries, umm, which is in my dream list.

✓ That's why I want to go abroad and see new places, experience new cultures and new views, and I certainly have many countries on my dream list.

Multiple issues: 'look at the word' is incorrect (probably 'world' or 'places'), 'look at new culture' should be 'experience new cultures,' and repetition 'new new' is filler. 'I have a lot of countries which is in my dream list' is ungrammatical; use 'many countries on my dream list.' Rephrase for natural, grammatical English and proper plurality and preposition use ('on my dream list').

× So abroad I think it's.

✓ So I think I would prefer abroad.

'So abroad I think it's' is an incomplete sentence and unclear. Provide a complete thought: 'So I think I would prefer going abroad' or 'So I think I prefer traveling abroad.' This fixes sentence fragment and clarifies meaning.