Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “remember that place and also the memory”) and correct common errors (e.g., “I always trying to” → “I always try,” “lightning” → “lighting”).

例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. For example, when I travel I photograph landscapes to remember the place, and I often experiment with different angles and lighting to get a better composition. I also share my best shots with friends and on social media.

提案: Organize your answer with one clear preference sentence, then add specific reasons with linking words. Fix grammar (tense and repetition) and reduce redundancy. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., “countryside” instead of repeating “rural areas”).

例: I prefer views in rural areas. This is because I enjoy mountains, rivers and open fields, and I often photograph sunsets there. Moreover, the fresh air relaxes me and helps me feel energetic, so I go to the countryside whenever I feel stressed.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then provide two specific reasons with clear linking words. Fix grammar and awkward phrasing (e.g., “feel me connected” → “make me feel connected,” remove repeated words). Mention concrete examples to make your answer more vivid.

例: I prefer views in my own country. For instance, local landscapes remind me of childhood memories and family gatherings, which makes them feel more meaningful. Also, there are many places in my country I still want to visit and photograph, so I enjoy exploring them.

× I love capturing the beautiful sceneries whenever I travel because taking the photos helps me to remember that place and also the memory.

✓ I love capturing beautiful scenery whenever I travel because taking photos helps me remember a place and its memories.

Use of articles: 'sceneries' is usually uncountable as 'scenery', so 'the beautiful sceneries' should be 'beautiful scenery'. 'the photos' can be general 'photos'. 'that place and also the memory' is awkward; use 'a place and its memories' or 'a place and the memories'. Also remove unnecessary articles to make the sentence natural.

× I really enjoy sharing my pictures on the social media as well as with my friends and I always trying to.

✓ I really enjoy sharing my pictures on social media and with my friends, and I am always trying to do so.

Preposition/article use: 'on the social media' should be 'on social media' (no definite article). Also sentence was missing auxiliary verb; 'I always trying to' needs 'I am always trying to' or 'I always try to'.

× I always try to different angles and also lightning to get a perfect shot.

✓ I always try different angles and also experiment with lighting to get a perfect shot.

Incorrect verb form and word choice: 'try to different angles' is incorrect; use 'try different angles'. 'lightning' (electrical discharge) is incorrect word for photographic 'lighting'. Use 'experiment with lighting' or 'use different lighting'.

× I personally prefer the rural areas because I like the mountains, rivers and also the fields.

✓ I personally prefer rural areas because I like the mountains, rivers and fields.

Article use: 'the rural areas' is acceptable but more natural to say 'rural areas' in general. Also omit extra 'also' for conciseness.

× Also I like capturing the sunset views and also I enjoy I enjoy the fresh air and feel very energetic and also it relax and refresh my mind.

✓ I like capturing sunsets, and I enjoy the fresh air because it makes me feel energetic and relaxes and refreshes my mind.

Problems: Repetition ('I enjoy I enjoy'), awkward structure and verb forms. 'it relax and refresh my mind' lacks third-person singular endings; should be 'it relaxes and refreshes my mind'. Use consistent parallel structure.

× So whenever I feel stressed I went to view the rural areas views.

✓ So whenever I feel stressed, I go to the countryside to see the rural views.

Tense agreement: 'feel' is present, so use present 'go' not past 'went'. Also wording improved: 'view the rural areas views' is awkward—use 'go to the countryside to see the rural views'.

× Personally, I prefer the views in my own country rather than preferring the another country's view because in my country the views feel me connected here and much more.

✓ Personally, I prefer the views in my own country rather than those in another country because the views in my country make me feel connected.

Pronoun and article errors: 'preferring the another country's view' is incorrect: use 'those in another country' or 'another country's views'. 'feel me connected' is incorrect word order—use 'make me feel connected'. Remove redundant 'here and much more'.

× The local places often remind me about my childhood and also the family Family get together we done and also there are many there are many places I haven't reached so I prefer in view of my country.

✓ Local places often remind me of my childhood and family gatherings we had, and there are many places I have not visited yet, so I prefer the views in my country.

Multiple structure problems: 'remind me about' should be 'remind me of'. 'family Family get together we done' is ungrammatical; change to 'family gatherings we had'. 'I haven't reached' should be 'I have not visited'. 'I prefer in view of my country' is wrong—use 'I prefer the views in my country'. Combined into clear, grammatical sentence.