Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and one brief example. Use correct tense and articles, avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of views. I find that photographing a scene helps me remember the moment, especially when I travel. For example, when I visited a hill station last year, I took photos of the sunrise to remind me of the experience.

提案: Give a clear preference sentence, then support it with specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, therefore). Avoid repetition and correct noun forms and articles.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because of the natural scenery and peace they offer. For example, rural areas usually have more greenery and open spaces, so I can relax and take better landscape photos.

提案: State a clear opinion (both or one) and give specific comparisons or examples. Use correct prepositions and sentence structure; avoid repeating words and unclear place names.

例: I like views both in my country and abroad because they offer different experiences. For instance, in my country I enjoy visiting local viewpoints with historical significance, while traveling abroad lets me see different landscapes and cultural scenery, such as coastal cliffs or foreign city skylines.

× Yes, of course I like because I think capturing a beautiful view is the memorable thing that you watch in in your life.

✓ Yes, of course I like taking pictures because I think capturing a beautiful view is a memorable moment in your life.

The sentence uses incorrect adjective forms and awkward phrasing: 'the memorable thing that you watch in in your life' is ungrammatical. Replace 'the memorable thing that you watch' with 'a memorable moment' and correct the verb phrase to 'like taking pictures'. Remove the duplicated 'in'. This makes the sentence natural and grammatically correct. Suggestion: Use 'a' with singular 'moment' and 'capturing a beautiful view' as a noun phrase describing the experience.

× As I am a person who is explore and number of things I visit so whenever I saw a beautiful view or scenery I definitely click the picture.

✓ As I am a person who likes to explore and visit many places, whenever I see a beautiful view or scenery I definitely take a picture.

Multiple errors: 'who is explore' uses incorrect verb form; use 'who likes to explore' or 'who explores'. 'number of things I visit' is incorrect quantifier and word choice; use 'many places'. Tense mismatch: 'whenever I saw' should be present 'whenever I see' because the habit is current; 'I definitely click the picture' is unnatural and uses wrong verb collocation — use 'take a picture'. Suggestions: Use consistent present tense for habits and correct verb patterns: 'who likes to explore', 'visit many places', 'see', 'take a picture'.

× So I think they have different different type of views are in urban or rural areas.

✓ So I think they have different types of views in urban and rural areas.

Errors include redundant 'different different', incorrect quantifier form 'type' instead of plural 'types' when referring to 'views', and incorrect word order 'are in'. Use 'different types of views in urban and rural areas'. Suggestion: Remove repetition and ensure noun-adjective agreement: 'different types'.

× From my perspective, I mostly prefer to visit rural area because there is number of few points for example due to their greenery and number of things are present there.

✓ From my perspective, I mostly prefer to visit rural areas because of several reasons, for example their greenery and many attractions are present there.

Several preposition and quantifier issues: 'visit rural area' should be 'visit rural areas' (plural) and 'because there is number of few points' is ungrammatical; use 'because of several reasons'. 'due to their greenery' is acceptable but 'number of things are present there' should be 'many attractions are present there' or 'there are many things to see'. Suggestions: Use 'because of' to introduce reasons, use plural nouns when generalizing, and replace vague 'things' with 'attractions' or 'things to see'.

× So I mostly prefer.

✓ So I mostly prefer them.

The sentence is a fragment and lacks an object: 'prefer' needs an object indicating what is preferred. Adding 'them' (referring to rural areas) completes the sentence. Keep present tense 'prefer' to show habitual preference.

× I prefer both of them because I think both are having different different culture and different different views.

✓ I prefer both because I think they have different cultures and different views.

Avoid redundant 'different different', and use correct verb 'have' rather than 'are having' for general states. Use plural 'cultures' and 'views' when referring to both. Suggestion: Use simple present 'have' for general truths and avoid repetition.

× So in my country there are a number of viewpoint.

✓ So in my country there are a number of viewpoints.

'a number of' requires a plural noun: 'viewpoints' not singular 'viewpoint'. Also 'So in my country' is fine. Suggestion: Use plural form after 'a number of'.

× For example men will visit Lilith or any other destination as well as in urban areas or in abroad.

✓ For example, people will visit Lilit or other destinations both in urban areas and abroad.

Pronoun and word choice issues: 'men' is inappropriate if you mean people in general; 'in abroad' is incorrect — use 'abroad' without 'in'. I assumed the place name 'Lilith' might be 'Lilit' or similar; keep original proper noun if known. 'As well as' misused; use 'both... and'. Suggestion: Use 'people' for general reference and 'abroad' without a preposition.

× There are different different countries they where are so beautiful views are present.

✓ In different countries there are many beautiful views.

The original has redundant 'different different', incorrect word order 'they where are', and unnecessary 'are present'. Simplify to 'In different countries there are many beautiful views.' Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb order and avoid redundancy.