Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and shows enthusiasm, but it is disfluent and contains fillers and repetition. To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence (one line) without fillers. 2) Use one or two specific supporting details with linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) and avoid repeating phrases. 3) Keep it to 2–4 concise sentences and correct minor grammar (e.g., “gives you good memories,” “post them on Instagram”).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because they help me remember places I’ve visited. For example, I often photograph coastal sunsets and mountain trails, then post the best shots on Instagram to share with friends. This way I keep memories and get feedback that motivates me to improve.

提案: Good clear preference and reasons, but the answer has hesitations, unclear phrasing and redundancy. To improve: 1) Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference. 2) Use linking words (for example, “because” and “so”) and provide two specific concrete details (e.g., ‘open fields’, ‘wildlife’). 3) Replace filler phrases (“you know”, “a lot of”) with precise vocabulary and correct grammar (e.g., “calm atmosphere”).

例: I prefer rural views because they offer more natural scenery and fewer crowds. For instance, I enjoy photographing open fields and small rivers where wildlife appears often, so the photos look peaceful and authentic.

提案: The answer expresses national pride but is repetitive and has grammar issues. To improve: 1) Start with a concise topic sentence stating your preference. 2) Give specific reasons and examples (mention particular locations or landscapes) and use linking words like “for example” or “because”. 3) Avoid repeating phrases and finish the sentence clearly.

例: I prefer taking photos in my own country because Sri Lanka has diverse tropical landscapes. For example, places like Ella’s tea terraces and the southern beaches offer striking colors and unique scenes, so I can capture memorable pictures without traveling abroad.

× Yes, I would like, I would love to take pictures of different views because, you know, it kind of gives you a good memories to remember those places that you have visited.

✓ Yes, I would like to, I would love to take pictures of different views because, you know, they kind of give you good memories to remember the places that you have visited.

Errors: 'it kind of gives you a good memories' mixes singular subject with plural object and uses incorrect article 'a' before plural 'memories'. Also 'those places' is acceptable but 'the places' is more natural here. Correction changes 'it' to 'they' to agree with 'pictures', removes 'a' before 'good memories', and uses 'the places' for clarity. Suggestion: ensure subject and verb/objects agree in number and use articles appropriately with countable nouns.

× And also some pictures can be like, you know, taken down into your Instagram and share with other people and sometimes you get a good comment on them.

✓ Also, some pictures can be posted on Instagram and shared with other people, and sometimes you get good comments on them.

Errors: awkward phrasing 'taken down into your Instagram' and inconsistent verb forms 'taken' and 'share'. 'A good comment' should be plural 'good comments' for general occurrences. Correction uses 'posted on Instagram' and parallel verbs 'posted' and 'shared', and plural 'good comments'. Suggestion: use standard collocations (post on Instagram) and keep parallel structure for coordinated verbs.

× And yeah, I would really.

✓ And yeah, I really would.

Error: sentence fragment ending abruptly; word order unnatural. Correction completes the thought by placing 'would' after the adverb to form a complete clause. Suggestion: ensure sentences are complete with subject and predicate; avoid trailing fragments.

× I prefer views in, uh, rural areas because you know, in there you can see the nature.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because, you know, there you can see nature.

Errors: unnecessary 'in' before 'there' and 'see the nature' uses unnecessary article. Correction removes 'in' and 'the' to use natural English: 'there you can see nature.' Suggestion: omit redundant prepositions and articles when referring to things in general.

× There's no, a lot of buildings, there are people and it's not crowded there and you can have a lot of, you know, sceneries where with the lot of calm vibe and I would really love to take pictures of them.

✓ There aren't a lot of buildings, there aren't many people, and it's not crowded. You can see many scenic views with a calm vibe, and I would really love to take pictures of them.

Errors: 'There's no, a lot of buildings' is ungrammatical; should be plural negative 'There aren't a lot of buildings' or 'There aren't many buildings.' 'Sceneries' is nonstandard; use 'scenic views.' 'With the lot of calm vibe' is ungrammatical; use 'with a calm vibe.' Correction fixes subject-verb agreement for 'there are', uses 'many' for countable nouns, replaces 'sceneries' with 'scenic views', and corrects article usage. Suggestion: use 'many' with countable plural nouns, use standard collocations like 'scenic views' and 'calm vibe.'

× I prefer using my own country because Sri Lanka is a tropical country where a lot where a lot of foreigners are coming down here to have some fun, have some experience and see the sceneries out there in Sri Lanka.

✓ I prefer taking pictures in my own country because Sri Lanka is a tropical country where many foreigners come to have fun, gain experiences, and see the scenic places in Sri Lanka.

Errors: 'prefer using my own country' is awkward — 'prefer taking pictures in my own country' is clear. Repetition 'where a lot where a lot' is erroneous. 'Are coming down here' is informal and awkward; use 'come' or 'come here.' 'Have some experience' should be plural 'gain experiences' or 'have new experiences.' 'See the sceneries' is nonstandard; use 'see the scenic places' or 'scenery.' Correction addresses preposition use, removes repetition, uses simple present for general truth ('come'), and replaces nonstandard words. Suggestion: avoid repetition, choose natural verbs and collocations, and use simple present for habitual/general facts.

× So I think you know, there are so many places that anybody can visit here in Sri Lanka and take a lot of pictures.

✓ So I think, you know, there are so many places that anyone can visit here in Sri Lanka and take many pictures.

Errors: 'anybody' is acceptable but 'anyone' is more natural; 'a lot of pictures' is informal — 'many pictures' is more concise. Correction replaces 'anybody' with 'anyone' and 'a lot of pictures' with 'many pictures.' Suggestion: prefer 'anyone' in this context and use 'many' for countable plural nouns for clearer formal speech.

× So I would prefer to take pictures of.

✓ So I would prefer to take pictures here.

Error: sentence fragment lacking object after 'of.' Correction provides a complete clause by saying 'take pictures here' to match the context. Suggestion: always complete prepositional phrases (e.g., 'take pictures of what?') or rephrase to avoid stranded prepositions.