Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 발음과 유창성을 개선하세요. 말을 할 때 쓸데없는 'umm'과 'uh' 같은 충족사를 줄이면 자연스럽습니다. 또한 문장을 좀 더 구조화하여 핵심 문장(주제문)을 먼저 말하고, 그 뒤에 짧은 세부 설명을 하나나 두 개만 덧붙이세요. 예를 들어 ‘I enjoy photographing landscapes’ 같은 명확한 주제문을 사용하고, 구체적인 장소(예: sea, mountains)와 이유(예: relax, capture memories)를 연결어로 연결하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing landscapes. For example, when I travel I often take pictures of the sea and mountains because the views help me relax and I like to capture memories.

提案: 문법과 문장 연결을 다듬으세요. 주제문을 명확히 말하고 이유를 논리적으로 연결되게 표현하세요. 단수·복수와 관사 사용(‘a view’ 또는 ‘views’, ‘rural areas’)을 정확히 하고, 불필요한 반복을 피하세요. 또한 연결어(‘because’, ‘so’, ‘which’)를 적절히 사용해 문장이 자연스럽게 흐르도록 하세요.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because there are many green spaces. They make me feel relaxed, and I enjoy the peaceful atmosphere away from the city.

提案: 의미 전달을 명확히 하고 어휘를 정확히 쓰세요. 'view'는 복수형 또는 관사와 함께 쓰고, 'bill' 같은 잘못된 단어 선택을 피하세요. 새로운 풍경을 말하려면 ‘new scenery’ 또는 ‘places I haven't seen before’처럼 표현하세요. 문장을 완결하게 만들어 이유를 충분히 설명하고 연결어를 사용하세요.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new scenery that I haven't seen before, and I enjoy discovering different cultures and landscapes.

× Yes, I like taking pictures umm, lot of sceneries, so when I go traveling I umm, I enjoy taking uh different umm, scenery like sea or mountain.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of many scenes, so when I travel I enjoy taking photos of different scenery, like the sea or mountains.

'Lot of sceneries' is ungrammatical: 'scenery' is uncountable, so use 'many scenes' or just 'scenery'. Use 'pictures of' not 'taking pictures lot of'. 'When I go traveling' can be simplified to 'when I travel' for natural present-tense habits. 'Taking uh different umm, scenery' should be 'taking photos of different scenery' or 'photos of different scenes'. Include articles: 'the sea' and plural 'mountains' for natural English. Suggestion: practice using countable vs uncountable nouns and standard collocations like 'take pictures of'.

× I prefer view in rural areas because I like green so there are many green spaces in rural area and so it helps me relax and come so I like them.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I like greenery, and there are many green spaces in rural areas, so they help me relax and I like them.

'Prefer view' should be 'prefer views' (plural) or 'prefer the view' (singular with article). 'Green' as a noun is incorrect; use 'greenery' or 'green spaces'. 'Rural area' needs plural 'rural areas' to match earlier phrase or use 'the rural area'. 'It helps me relax' should be 'they help me relax' to agree with plural 'green spaces'. Suggestion: ensure nouns match singular/plural and pronouns agree with their antecedents.

× I prefer view in other countries because it is new and I never seen that bill. So it's very.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because they are new to me and I have never seen those places before, so it's very exciting.

'Prefer view' must be 'prefer views' (plural) to be natural. 'It is new' should be 'they are new to me' to agree in number. 'I never seen' is incorrect present perfect: use 'I have never seen'. 'That bill' is unclear and incorrect; likely meant 'those places' or 'that view'. Sentence fragment 'So it's very.' is incomplete; add an adjective like 'exciting'. Suggestion: use correct present perfect for experiences and ensure subject-verb agreement and complete sentences.