Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use plural nouns and articles), and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking if adding detail.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views in my hometown. For example, I often take pictures of the riverside and old buildings because they show the local character.

提案: Reduce hesitations and fix grammar and vocabulary. Give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid irrelevant or incorrect words (e.g., ‘battlefield’ unless you mean it).

例: I prefer views in urban areas because cities offer a wide variety of architecture and street scenes. For instance, I enjoy photographing modern skyscrapers and busy markets, which provide interesting contrasts and details.

提案: Be clearer and more fluent. Start with a direct answer, then give specific supporting details using linking words. Correct collocations (say ‘tropical country’ or ‘tropical climate’) and plural forms.

例: I prefer views in my own country because it has a tropical climate with diverse landscapes. For example, we have lush mountains, wide rivers, and beautiful coastlines that are great for photography.

× Yes, I am fond of taking pictures from a variety of view in my hometown country.

✓ Yes, I am fond of taking pictures of a variety of views in my home country.

Use 'of' rather than 'from' after 'taking pictures'; 'a variety of' requires plural noun 'views'; 'hometown country' is not natural—use 'home country' or 'my hometown'. Suggestion: say 'taking pictures of a variety of views in my home country.'

× Umm, I real, uh, for me, I really like views in urban areas because you know, in urban areas there have has a lot of of different views such as battlefield.

✓ Umm, for me, I really like views in urban areas because, you know, urban areas have a lot of different sights such as battlefields.

Remove filler 'I real'; use 'urban areas have' (subject-verb agreement) instead of 'there have has'; 'a lot of' is followed by a plural countable noun; 'views such as battlefield' needs plural 'battlefields' or better 'sights such as battlefields'. Suggestion: simplify fillers and use 'urban areas have a lot of different sights.'

× I really like my few umm, I really like views in my own country because you know umm, my country is a tropical season country so we have a lot of umm.

✓ I really like views in my own country because, you know, my country has a tropical climate, so we have a lot of variety.

'Omitting unclear phrase "my few" and fillers improves clarity. Use 'has a tropical climate' not 'is a tropical season country'; 'a lot of variety' or 'many different scenes' fits better. Suggestion: say 'my country has a tropical climate, so we have a lot of variety.'

× We have a various views from my country like umm, mountain, rivers.

✓ We have various views in my country, like mountains and rivers.

Do not use 'a' with 'various' (use 'various views'); use plural for countable nouns 'mountains and rivers'; use 'in my country' rather than 'from my country' when describing scenery. Suggestion: 'We have various views in my country, like mountains and rivers.'