Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and enthusiastic, but it is slightly long and ends abruptly. Try to keep responses to a maximum of five sentences, avoid repetition (e.g., listing similar scenery), and finish with a complete idea. Use a topic sentence, then one or two supporting details, and a concluding remark. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., use 'captures' instead of 'helps me take').

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views, especially landscapes like sunsets over the sea and dense green forests. For instance, I often photograph the coastline at dusk because the colours and reflections create dramatic images. Photography captures special moments for me and helps me remember places more vividly.

提案: Good direct answer with reasons and personal effect. To improve, add a linking word to connect ideas and give one specific example or brief comparison to urban views to make your point more vivid. Maintain sentence variety and avoid small grammar slips (use 'these kinds of' or 'this kind of').

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy landscapes like green forests and peaceful sunsets over the sea, which calm me down. For example, after a hectic workday I like to walk by the shoreline, which is far more relaxing than the noisy city streets.

提案: Your answer directly addresses the question and includes a personal reason and example. Improve clarity by correcting small phrasing issues ('peaceful scenes' rather than 'peaceful senses') and vary vocabulary to avoid repetition of 'peaceful' and 'special'. Keep it concise: topic sentence, brief example, concluding phrase.

例: I prefer views in my own country because my hometown's scenery feels more meaningful to me. For example, the green forests and tranquil coastal paths remind me of quiet family walks, so those familiar scenes are more special than foreign landscapes.

× It makes me ecstatic because photography helps me take special moments and.

✓ It makes me ecstatic because photography helps me capture special moments.

The original sentence ends awkwardly with 'take special moments and.' The verb phrase 'take special moments' is unnatural; 'capture' is the correct verb collocating with 'moments'. Also the trailing 'and.' is incomplete. Use a complete verb phrase: 'helps me capture special moments.' This fixes sentence structure and verb choice.

× These kind of scenes calm me down and help me relax after a very busy day.

✓ These kinds of scenes calm me down and help me relax after a very busy day.

'These' is plural so it must match 'kinds' (plural). The original 'These kind of scenes' mixes plural demonstrative with singular 'kind'. Change to 'These kinds of scenes' or 'This kind of scene' to make determiner and noun agree.

× For example, the green forests and the peaceful senses there feel very serene and remind me of quiet walks with my family, so those scenes are more special to me than foreign landscapes.

✓ For example, the green forests and the peaceful scenes there feel very serene and remind me of quiet walks with my family, so those scenes are more special to me than foreign landscapes.

The original uses 'senses' where 'scenes' is intended. This is a word choice error (incorrect adjective/noun selection). 'Scenes' correctly refers to views or settings. Correcting to 'scenes' restores meaning and grammatical correctness.

× I prefer views in my own country to those in other countries because I love my hometown.

✓ I prefer views in my own country to those in other countries, because I love my hometown.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable, but adding a comma before 'because' can improve clarity when giving a reason. This is a stylistic suggestion to improve sentence structure and flow.

× I prefer views in urban areas or rural areas?

✓ Do you prefer views in urban areas or rural areas?

This line comes from the Examiner's question; as written in the transcript the student repeats the question header incorrectly. However, if treating student answers only, no change is needed. If correcting the question, 'Do you prefer views in urban areas or rural areas?' is the correct prepositional structure for asking preference between locations.