Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct grammar, and give one specific supporting detail. Use linking words for coherence. For example, say you enjoy photography to preserve memories and mention a specific scene or moment you like to capture.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy taking photos when I travel because they help me preserve memories. For instance, I like photographing sunrise views over city skylines because the light and colours are unforgettable.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid repetition and fillers, and provide a clear reason with a specific example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because they make me feel relaxed and peaceful. For example, I enjoy walking by rice paddies or forests, where the quiet and fresh air help me unwind after a busy week.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer, avoid redundancy, fix grammar, and give specific examples of places or landscapes. Use linking words to list different types of views (for example, 'not only... but also').

例: I prefer the views in my own country. Taiwan is a beautiful island with diverse scenery: for example, you can see dramatic mountain ranges in Taroko Gorge, sandy beaches in Kenting, and modern city skylines in Taipei.

× Yes it is.

✓ Yes, I do.

The student used 'it' incorrectly to answer a yes/no question about personal preference. Use 'I do' to affirm liking something. Also include a comma after 'Yes' and use the appropriate auxiliary verb for emphasis.

× I really like taking pictures and making some photography when I visit, uh, any countries.

✓ I really like taking pictures and doing some photography when I visit any country.

'Make photography' is not idiomatic; use 'do photography' or 'take photographs'. 'Any countries' should be singular 'any country' after 'visit' in this general context. Remove filler words and keep verb forms parallel.

× It makes me feel like I can keep the memories.

✓ It makes me feel like I can keep the memories.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable, but 'keep the memories' is slightly awkward; consider 'preserve memories' for more natural phrasing. No tense correction required.

× Also it's really aesthetic to making some future to the photos.

✓ Also it's really aesthetic to add some effects to the photos for future memories.

Incorrect use of 'to making' after 'to' (infinitive vs gerund). 'Make some future to the photos' is unclear—I replaced with 'add some effects to the photos for future memories' to convey intended meaning. Ensure correct infinitive ('to add') and clearer object.

× Uh, instead of urban areas, I think I like rural areas better.

✓ I prefer rural areas to urban areas.

The original wording is conversational but slightly awkward. Using 'prefer ... to ...' is a clearer and more grammatical structure for comparisons.

× It's makes me feel more relaxed and chilling.

✓ It makes me feel more relaxed and calm.

'It's makes' has subject-verb agreement error: 'it' + 'makes' is correct without contraction 'it's'. 'Chilling' is informal and incorrectly used as an adjective here; 'calm' or 'relaxed' is better. Correct form: 'It makes me feel...'.

× And uh, besides, we also, we, we already live in a very busy day, uh, areas, so.

✓ Also, we already live in very busy areas, so I prefer quieter places.

The original is disfluent with repeated pronouns and awkward phrase 'busy day areas'. I removed filler words and rephrased to a concise, grammatical sentence. Use 'very busy areas' rather than 'very busy day areas'.

× Yes, I love the views in my own country.

✓ Yes, I love the views in my own country.

This sentence is correct as written; no pronoun change needed. Keep as is. Note: kept for completeness.

× I'm from Taiwan and it is an beautiful island which includes not only the Mountain View but also we have beach views so and also we also have a very beautiful city views.

✓ I'm from Taiwan and it is a beautiful island which has not only mountain views but also beaches and very beautiful city views.

Several article and noun phrase errors: use 'a' before 'beautiful' (not 'an'), 'Mountain View' should be 'mountain views' (plural, common noun, no capitalization), and 'we have beach views' is awkward—use 'beaches' or 'beach views'. Remove repeated 'also' and correct pluralization 'city views'. Use consistent verb structure: 'has' instead of 'includes' plus 'we have'.