Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and complete your final thought. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (like "like") and correct small grammar errors ("breath taking" → "breathtaking", "natures" → "nature").

例: Yes, I really enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often shoot sunrises and sunsets and dramatic sea landscapes because the colours and light create peaceful scenes. Also, I sometimes capture mountain panoramas to show scale and texture, which helps me relax and remember the moment.

提案: Give a direct preference first, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words. Reduce repetition (avoid multiple "like" and "you know"). Use clearer comparative language (e.g. "however", "on the other hand").

例: I prefer rural views overall because they offer fresh air and peaceful scenery. However, urban areas have better infrastructure and healthcare, which can be more convenient. So while I favour the countryside for photography, I sometimes visit cities for accessibility and variety.

提案: Answer directly whether you prefer domestic or foreign views, then give one or two specific, neutral reasons. Avoid long political criticism and filler words; keep comments concise and relevant to scenery or travel. Maintain a neutral tone and correct grammar (e.g. "there is a lot of potential in my country").

例: I generally prefer views in my own country because there is a lot of natural diversity and cultural scenery to explore. However, I also enjoy travelling abroad to see different landscapes and architectural styles, which broadens my photographic perspective.

× I love taking pictures of different views like sunset and sunrise and like breath taking sea views.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views, like sunsets and sunrises, and breathtaking sea views.

'Sunset' and 'sunrise' should be plural when referring to these kinds of views in general. 'Breath taking' should be one word 'breathtaking' (an adjective). Add commas for clarity. Use plural nouns for general preferences.

× So it makes me very peaceful to take these pictures of natures and landscapes like mountains and all, and it just makes me feel very.

✓ So it makes me feel very peaceful to take pictures of nature and landscapes like mountains, and it just makes me feel very relaxed.

'Natures' is incorrect; the uncountable noun 'nature' should be used. The phrase 'it just makes me feel very' is incomplete; add an adjective like 'relaxed' to complete the sentence. Also 'feel very peaceful' is more natural as 'feel very peaceful' but ending with a complete adjective is required.

× I think there are advantages and disadvantages in urban areas and rural areas.

✓ I think there are advantages and disadvantages to urban and rural areas.

Repetition of 'areas' is unnecessary; more natural phrasing is 'to urban and rural areas.' This fixes redundancy and improves flow without changing meaning.

× Like for example in rural areas like you will find fresh air and peaceful life but there are a lot of things like bad roads and you know not a good healthcare and you can find these things in urban.

✓ For example, in rural areas you will find fresh air and a peaceful life, but there are many problems such as bad roads and poor healthcare, which you can also find in urban areas.

Use 'for example' instead of 'like for example.' Use 'a peaceful life' (article required). 'Not a good healthcare' is incorrect — use 'poor healthcare.' 'These things in urban' is incomplete; use 'in urban areas.' Use 'many problems' rather than 'a lot of things' for clarity.

× I think there is a lot of potential of my country, uh, but The thing is that the officials and the government like don't want to make a country developed instead they like to do uh, gender based, caste based discrimination and all so.

✓ I think there is a lot of potential in my country, but the problem is that some officials and the government do not want to develop the country; instead, they practice gender-based and caste-based discrimination.

Use 'potential in my country' rather than 'potential of my country.' 'The thing is' is informal; 'the problem is' is more appropriate. 'Officials and the government like don't want' contains filler 'like' and incorrect contraction; use 'do not want to develop the country.' Use hyphenated adjectives 'gender-based' and 'caste-based.' Remove fillers and complete the clauses for clarity.