Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid redundancy, and provide one specific detail. Use linking words if adding detail. For example, say you take photos to remember specific scenes and mention one memorable photo and why.

例: Yes, I do. Whenever I visit a new place, I take lots of photos of the scenery and architecture so I can remember how it felt. For example, on my last trip I photographed a sunrise over the river because the light and colours were unforgettable.

提案: Improve clarity and fluency: begin with a direct statement, avoid filler words and errors ('on the nature', 'ME'), and add a specific reason or example using linking words. Keep it to 1–3 sentences and fix grammar (e.g., 'in nature').

例: I prefer rural areas because I enjoy being in nature and seeing landscapes you rarely find in cities. For instance, I love photographing mountains and rivers, which feel more peaceful and natural than urban views.

提案: Be specific and structured: start with a clear preference, remove hesitations, correct lists and use linking words to organize examples. Instead of vague claims, give one or two concrete examples and explain briefly why they appeal to you.

例: I prefer views in China because the country offers diverse landscapes. For example, I enjoy the Gobi Desert's wide horizons and the lush forests near Yunnan, which show how varied and beautiful the scenery can be.

× Whenever I am visiting a new place, I would take a lot of pictures of the scenery and the buildings.

✓ Whenever I visit a new place, I take a lot of pictures of the scenery and the buildings.

The student uses 'am visiting' (present continuous) and 'would take' (conditional/past habit), which do not match the habitual meaning. For regular habits use the simple present: 'visit' and 'take'. Suggestion: use simple present for repeated actions (Whenever I visit... I take...).

× I love living good memories about them so I can one day go home and relieve the memories.

✓ I love keeping good memories of them so I can one day go home and relive the memories.

The student wrote 'living good memories' and 'relieve the memories'. 'Living' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'keeping' or 'cherishing' memories. 'Relieve' means to ease pain; the correct verb is 'relive' meaning to experience again. Also use 'memories of them' rather than 'about them'. Suggestion: use 'keep/cherish memories of' and 'relive' for experiencing memories again.

× I think I prefer the rural areas because I love spending time on the nature, so I can see many ME views that I cannot see in the cities, such as the mountains and the, uh, the rivers and.

✓ I think I prefer rural areas because I love spending time in nature, so I can see many views that I cannot see in the cities, such as mountains and rivers.

Errors: 'on the nature' is incorrect preposition and article; use 'in nature' (no article). 'Many ME views' seems to include an extraneous filler 'ME' which should be removed. 'the mountains and the rivers and.' has extra 'the' and a trailing 'and.' Remove filler words and extra articles. Suggestion: use 'in nature', remove filler tokens, and list examples without unnecessary articles.

× Of course, I love the views in China because we have so many different kinds of views from deserts to, uh, the forests to the rainforest to the umm, mountains, the highest mountain in China you can watch all.

✓ Of course, I love the views in China because we have many different kinds of scenery, from deserts to forests to rainforests to mountains; you can see them all, including the highest mountain in China.

Problems: repetitive 'views' and inconsistent articles ('the forests', 'the rainforest')—use plural or uncountable forms consistently. 'You can watch all' is incorrect verb choice: use 'see them all'. Sentence also fragments at the end. Suggestion: replace repeated 'views' with 'scenery', use parallel structure 'from A to B to C', and use 'see' instead of 'watch' when referring to scenery.