Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and grammar, reduce redundancy, and organize into 2–3 concise sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence saying you enjoy taking photos of different views, then give one or two specific examples with linking words. Avoid unclear words like “Fuse.”

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, when I travel I like to photograph natural scenery such as mountains and beaches, and I often collect these photos in an album to remember my trips.

提案: Correct grammar (verb forms and prepositions), make the comparison clearer, and use one linking phrase to explain why. Keep it to two sentences: state preference, then explain with a clear reason and example.

例: I prefer urban views, particularly when city lights are combined with pockets of greenery. For instance, I love scenes where a small urban forest sits beside illuminated buildings because they create an interesting contrast.

提案: Fix vocabulary and grammar, remove the word “fuse,” and structure into two sentences: state preference and give a specific reason with an example. Use linking words (because, especially) and correct plural/singular forms.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy seeing different kinds of nature. For example, I’m fascinated by countries with four distinct seasons since I live in a place with only two seasons and I’d like to experience autumn foliage and snowy landscapes.