Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Améliorez la fluidité et la précision en évitant les hésitations et les répétitions (« uh », « umm »). Donnez une réponse directe au début, puis ajoutez une ou deux raisons concises et spécifiques. Corrigez les erreurs grammaticales (par ex. « his photos are better than mine ») et évitez les phrases trop longues ou mal construites.

例: Yes, I sometimes enjoy photographing different views, but I prefer my brother's photos because he has a better eye for composition. For example, on our last trip he captured the sunset and used foreground elements effectively, which made his pictures more striking than mine.

提案: Réduisez les hésitations et structurez la réponse: commencez par une phrase claire indiquant votre préférence, puis ajoutez deux raisons spécifiques. Utilisez des connecteurs simples (because, also) pour améliorer la cohérence et évitez la répétition de « I think ».

例: I prefer rural views because they are more peaceful and allow you to enjoy nature and wildlife. Also, rural areas often have scenic footpaths and open landscapes, which make taking photos more relaxing and rewarding.

提案: Évitez les hésitations et améliorez la précision: donnez d'abord une réponse directe (yes/no or preference), puis expliquez brièvement pourquoi avec exemples concrets. Remplacez les expressions vagues par des descriptions précises (par ex. « Mediterranean countries have clear blue seas and sandy beaches »).

例: I like views in France, but I prefer those in other countries, especially Mediterranean ones like Spain or Italy, because they offer clear blue seas and sandy beaches. For instance, the coastal light there makes sea and sunset photos very vivid and colourful.

× And yes, sometimes I like taking pictures of different views, but I prefer when it's my brother's that, uh, take pictures on vacation because, umm, his photos are betters than mine.

✓ And yes, sometimes I like taking pictures of different views, but I prefer it when my brother takes pictures on vacation because his photos are better than mine.

The error involves incorrect comparative form and sentence structure. 'Betters' is not the comparative of 'good'; the correct form is 'better' (adjective comparative). Also the clause 'when it's my brother's that, uh, take pictures' is ungrammatical: use 'it when my brother takes pictures' to express preference. Suggestion: use 'better' for comparison and simplify the clause to 'I prefer it when my brother takes pictures'.

× And also, uh, I'm not uh, very good at, uh, taking pictures.

✓ Also, I'm not very good at taking pictures.

Redundant fillers 'uh' should be removed for grammatical clarity. The phrase 'not very good at taking pictures' is correct; just remove unnecessary disfluencies. Suggestion: speak concisely and avoid filler words to improve clarity.

× And so I prefer, uh, views in, uh, rural areas because I think that, umm, it's uh, more peaceful and, umm, we can enjoy, uh, nature and, umm, wildlife, umm, and I think that it's better than, umm, cities and.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I think they are more peaceful, and we can enjoy nature and wildlife; I think they are better than cities.

Problems: sentence begins with unnecessary conjunction 'And so' and ends with an incomplete 'and'. Use plural pronoun 'they' to refer to 'views' (agreement). 'It's more peaceful' should be 'they are more peaceful' to match plural. The ending 'and' is incomplete; replace with a full clause 'I think they are better than cities.' Suggestion: ensure pronoun-number agreement and complete sentences without trailing conjunctions.

× Through, umm, I like uh, views in my country, uh, in France, but I do prefer views in uh, other countries, especially in Mediterranean, uh, countries like Spain or Italy where we can see, uh, easily the sea, uh, the beaches and uh, also, uh, very, uh.

✓ I like views in my country, France, but I prefer views in other countries, especially Mediterranean countries like Spain or Italy, where we can easily see the sea and the beaches.

Errors include wrong initial word 'Through' (should be 'Though' or omitted) and awkward preposition order 'see, uh, easily the sea' — adverb 'easily' should come before the verb or after auxiliary: 'can easily see the sea'. Remove trailing incomplete fragment 'also, uh, very, uh.' Suggestion: use 'though' to contrast or drop it, place adverbs correctly (e.g., 'can easily see'), and finish the list without trailing fillers.