Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh lỗi từ vựng và ngữ pháp nhỏ, dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng hơn và rút ngắn câu để tự nhiên (tối đa 3-4 câu). Cụ thể: (1) Thay từ sai thành từ đúng (ví dụ "candies moments" -> "candid moments" hoặc "beautiful moments"). (2) Nối ý bằng liên từ phù hợp như "so", "because", "and" để câu mạch lạc. (3) Thêm một chi tiết cụ thể về loại phong cảnh hoặc cảm xúc để câu đầy đủ hơn.

例: Yes, I do. I love photographing nature because the scenery is peaceful and refreshing, so it helps me relax. For example, when I go hiking with my family I often take candid photos of sunrise and the misty valleys.

提案: Cải thiện: Sửa ngữ pháp cơ bản và chọn từ chính xác; làm rõ câu chủ đề; sử dụng liên từ để nối lý do và ví dụ. Cụ thể: (1) Chú ý danh từ số ít/ số nhiều và mạo từ: "views" thay vì "view". (2) Thay cụm không hợp lý "more difficult in their regrets" bằng lý do rõ ràng như "more peaceful and natural". (3) Sắp xếp lại câu để rõ ràng: chủ đề -> lý do -> ví dụ.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are more peaceful and natural. For example, I enjoy wide wind-swept fields, bright sunshine and white wildflowers, which help me relax after a long day of studying.

提案: Cải thiện: Làm câu rõ ràng và chính xác hơn; tránh từ không tự nhiên như "private landscapes"; thêm một chi tiết cụ thể hoặc so sánh ngắn để tăng tính thuyết phục. Cụ thể: (1) Dùng từ phù hợp: "familiar landscapes" hoặc "unique landscapes". (2) Thêm một so sánh ngắn với nước ngoài nếu cần. (3) Giữ độ dài câu trong 2-3 câu.

例: I prefer views in my own country because many local attractions and familiar landscapes feel more comfortable. For example, I love visiting coastal areas and flower gardens at home, which are easier to reach and more relaxing than distant places.

× I enjoy capturing scenic views and candies moments with my family when we go camping and hiking.

✓ I enjoy capturing scenic views and candid moments with my family when we go camping and hiking.

The word 'candies' is a plural noun meaning sweets, which is incorrect here. The intended word is the adjective 'candid' meaning natural or unposed. Replace 'candies moments' with 'candid moments' to correctly describe the type of moments being captured.

× I prefer view in rural areas because the scenery is more difficult in their regrets and for example, I enjoy seeing wind fields, bright sunshine and white flowers, which helps me realize and reduce stress after a long day of studying.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because the scenery is more peaceful there; for example, I enjoy seeing wind farms, bright sunshine, and white flowers, which help me relax and reduce stress after a long day of studying.

Multiple issues fixed: 'view' should be plural 'views' to match general preference (singular/plural). 'More difficult in their regrets' is nonsensical; replaced with 'more peaceful there' to express preference clearly. 'Wind fields' is incorrect collocation; use 'wind farms' if referring to turbines or 'open fields' otherwise. 'Which helps me realize and reduce stress' is awkward; use 'which help me relax and reduce stress' and adjust verb to agree with plural subject 'wind farms, bright sunshine, and white flowers' (help). These corrections address singular/plural and improve meaning and verb agreement.

× I prefer views in my own country because we have many popular attractions and private landscapes.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because we have many popular attractions and picturesque landscapes.

The phrase 'private landscapes' is incorrect; 'private' describes ownership and is unlikely here. A more appropriate adjective is 'picturesque' to describe attractive landscapes. This correction fixes word choice to convey the intended meaning.

× For example, there are beautiful flower gardens and coastal scenery that I find more familiar and comfortable to visit.

✓ For example, there are beautiful flower gardens and coastal scenery that I find more familiar and comfortable to visit.

This sentence is grammatically correct after prior corrections; no change needed. It correctly uses adjectives 'beautiful' and 'coastal' and the comparative feeling 'more familiar and comfortable' is appropriate in context.