Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid redundant phrases (e.g., “pass my time in free time” or “hardly once in a blue moon I get to chance”). Use simple, accurate vocabulary and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, when I travel I always photograph landscapes and cityscapes to remember the place. I especially like capturing light at sunrise because it makes ordinary scenes look dramatic.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then provide specific, coherent reasons using linking words. Correct grammar (plural/singular, articles) and avoid vague or incomplete endings. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., “open space,” “peaceful,” “fresh air”).

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones. I moved from a busy city to the outskirts because I enjoy the open space and fresh air. For instance, the quiet mornings and wide fields make me feel relaxed and more energetic.

提案: Answer directly, then explain briefly with specific reasons and a linking word. Avoid unclear phrases and grammar mistakes; be sure to finish your sentence. Mention concrete examples (places you like or videos you saw) to support your point.

例: I prefer views in my own country. Although I have watched amazing videos of other countries, I feel more connected to local landscapes because I grew up here. For example, I love the coastal cliffs near my hometown which remind me of childhood trips.

× Yes, I love to take pictures and want to keep it as a memory so that I can pass my time in free time while looking at the picture I have recorded.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures and want to keep them as memories so that I can pass the time by looking at the pictures I have taken.

Use 'love taking' (gerund) more natural than 'love to take' though both are possible; 'pictures' should be plural to match meaning; 'keep them as memories' uses plural pronoun to agree; 'pass the time' is the correct collocation instead of 'pass my time in free time'; 'pictures I have taken' uses past participle 'taken' for the completed action rather than 'recorded' which is less natural here.

× And most of the time I take picture when I'm on trip because hardly once in a blue moon I get to chance explore the new places.

✓ And most of the time I take pictures when I'm on a trip because I hardly ever get the chance to explore new places.

Use plural 'pictures'; include article 'a trip'; 'hardly once in a blue moon' is mixed idioms—use 'hardly ever' or 'once in a blue moon'; word order: 'get the chance to explore' is correct; remove 'the' before 'new places' unless specific.

× So I really want to keep it as a long lasting memory.

✓ So I really want to keep them as long-lasting memories.

Use plural 'them' to refer to pictures and plural 'memories'; 'long-lasting' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun. This corrects reference and number agreement.

× Without doubt I prefer view of rural area more, that's why I shifted from a bustling city to the outskirt where I build a farmhouse.

✓ Without a doubt, I prefer views of rural areas more; that's why I moved from a bustling city to the outskirts where I built a farmhouse.

Add article 'a' in 'Without a doubt'; use plural 'views' and 'rural areas' for general preference; 'outskirt' should be plural 'outskirts'; 'shifted' is awkward—'moved' is natural; tense: student refers to past move so use past 'built' not 'build'.

× And moreover rural places has lot more grain space that helps me to feel profoundly enthusiastic as well as active and it also.

✓ Moreover, rural places have a lot more open space that helps me feel much more enthusiastic and active.

Subject-verb agreement: plural 'places' requires 'have' not 'has'; 'a lot more' needs article before noun; 'grain space' is incorrect—likely 'open space'; 'profoundly enthusiastic as well as active and it also' is redundant and ungrammatical, simplified to 'helps me feel much more enthusiastic and active.'

× I prefer view in my country because I cannot give the view on other country as I have never been to any other nation but I saw many video and those are just awestruck but I felt different reason of my country more closely so I prefer view of.

✓ I prefer views in my country because I cannot describe views in other countries since I have never been to them; I have seen many videos, which are impressive, but I feel more connected to the scenery of my own country, so I prefer views here.

Use plural 'views' and plural 'countries'/'them' for pronoun agreement; 'cannot give the view on other country' is unclear—'cannot describe views in other countries' is clearer; 'saw many video' -> 'seen many videos' (past participle and plural); 'awestruck' used incorrectly—use 'impressive' or 'awe-inspiring'; 'felt different reason of my country more closely' is unclear—rephrased as 'feel more connected to the scenery of my own country.'