Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, you know), correct pronouns, and give one specific supporting detail. Keep answers to 2–4 sentences and use a linking word if you add a reason.

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views. They help me remember places I have visited, so I always take a few shots and post my favorites on Instagram. For example, I often photograph coastal sunsets because the colors are unforgettable.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and grammar mistakes (singular/plural, word order), and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word (e.g., because, so). Be specific about what you like in rural scenes.

例: I prefer photographing rural areas because they offer peaceful, unspoiled scenery. For instance, I enjoy capturing old stone cottages and quiet fields of wildflowers, since there are fewer people and I can frame the scene without distractions.

提案: Start with a direct answer, correct tense and phrasing, avoid repetition, and give a specific reason or an example of what you hope to photograph abroad. Use one or two sentences to explain your preference and one sentence for a detail.

例: I prefer taking photos in other countries because I want to capture different cultures and landscapes. For example, I would love to photograph ancient temples and colorful street markets abroad to add variety to my travel photos.

× I love taking pictures because, you know, uh, it reminds me of where I went actually.

✓ I love taking pictures because, you know, it reminds me of places I have been.

Use 'reminds me of places I have been' to avoid awkward phrasing 'where I went actually'; present perfect ('have been') links past experiences to the present. Also remove filler words for clarity.

× So every time where when I visit somewhere, I take a picture and upload him in my Instagram.

✓ So every time I visit somewhere, I take a picture and upload it to my Instagram.

Use 'it' for the photo (correct object pronoun) rather than 'him'. Remove redundant 'where' and 'when'. Use the preposition 'to' with 'upload'.

× I'm a, I'm a traveler where I used to take a lot of pictures of where I went.

✓ I'm a traveler and I used to take a lot of pictures of the places I visited.

Replace 'where' with 'and' to join clauses correctly. Use 'places I visited' rather than 'where I went' for natural phrasing and correct past form 'visited'.

× I prefer taking pictures in rural area because it kind of reminds me of the historical places because I don't like when people are around when there are too much crowded.

✓ I prefer taking pictures in rural areas because it reminds me of historical places and I don't like it when places are too crowded.

Use plural 'rural areas'. Remove extra 'the' before 'historical places'. Correct 'too much crowded' to 'too crowded' and rephrase to 'I don't like it when places are too crowded' for clarity and grammaticality.

× I usually like to visit places where that I can take pictures of, you know, calm nature.

✓ I usually like to visit places where I can photograph calm natural scenery.

Remove redundant 'that' after 'where'. Use 'photograph' or 'take pictures of' and 'calm natural scenery' is more natural than 'calm nature'.

× I would like to take pictures in another country, but I have never been to another country before.

✓ I would like to take pictures in another country, but I have never been abroad.

Replace the repeated phrase 'another country' with 'abroad' for conciseness. Tense and modality are correct.

× So I've been willing to go to there because I have taken almost, I have been to almost every places here in Sri Lanka.

✓ So I've been wanting to go there because I have been to almost every place here in Sri Lanka.

Use 'wanting' rather than 'willing' to express desire. Use 'go there' not 'go to there'. 'Almost every place' is correct (not 'every places'). Remove repeated fragments.

× But my ultimate intention was is to go to another country and take some more memories from there.

✓ But my ultimate intention is to go to another country and make more memories there.

Use present 'is' to describe current intention (not 'was is'). Use 'make more memories' rather than 'take some more memories' and 'there' suffices without extra preposition.