Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid hesitations and repetitions. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., double 'I') and finish the idea (what you will capture).

例: I don't usually take many photos because I prefer to enjoy the view with my own eyes. However, if a landscape is truly breathtaking, I will take a photo to remember it, for example when I visited the Grand Canyon last year.

提案: Good clear preference and reasons. Improve by using a stronger topic sentence, correct minor grammar (use 'I prefer' not 'I more enjoy'), and add a linking word to connect ideas smoothly. Provide one concrete example to make it more specific.

例: I prefer rural views because they are quieter and more peaceful. For example, when I visit the countryside I enjoy walking through small villages and watching farmers work, which helps me escape the city's bustle.

提案: Complete your answer and avoid trailing off. Start with a clear topic sentence, then compare both options with specific reasons and a brief example. Correct grammar: 'both views in my country and other countries' → 'views in both my country and others'; 'sometime' → 'sometimes'. Use linking words like 'however' properly with a full clause after it.

例: I enjoy views both in my own country and abroad because each offers something different. For instance, local scenery feels familiar and comforting, while views in other countries are exciting and teach me about different cultures, so I sometimes prefer traveling abroad for new experiences.

× I'm not very into taking pictures honestly, I prefer to enjoy seeing the view with my own eyes. Umm, if the landscapes are incredibly breathtaking, I I will capture the.

✓ I'm not very into taking pictures, honestly; I prefer to enjoy the view with my own eyes. Umm, if the landscapes are incredibly breathtaking, I will capture them.

Errors: 'seeing the view' is awkward; 'seeing' is acceptable but 'enjoy the view' is more natural. Repeated 'I' is a typographical error. Missing object after 'capture' — 'them' (referring to landscapes or pictures) is required. Suggestion: remove duplicated word, add appropriate object pronoun, and use natural collocation 'enjoy the view'.

× I more enjoy landscapes in rural areas, it's more peaceful.

✓ I enjoy landscapes in rural areas more; they are more peaceful.

Error: 'I more enjoy' places adverb incorrectly and uses comma splice. Also 'it's' (singular) doesn't agree with plural 'landscapes'. Suggestion: place 'more' after verb or use comparative structure and change to plural pronoun 'they'. Use a semicolon or separate into two sentences to avoid comma splice.

× Also, I enjoy experiencing local life because it helps me to escape from the bustle and the hassle of a city.

✓ Also, I enjoy experiencing local life because it helps me escape the bustle and hassle of a city.

Error: 'helps me to escape from' is wordy; 'escape the bustle and hassle' is more concise and natural. 'the' before 'hassle' is unnecessary when paired. Suggestion: remove redundant 'to' and 'from' and streamline nouns.

× I would say I like both of views in my country and other countries.

✓ I would say I like views in both my country and other countries.

Error: 'both of views' is incorrect collocation; use 'views in both my country and other countries' or 'both the views in my country and those in other countries'. Suggestion: reorder phrase and include 'those' if contrasting explicitly.

× Umm local view gives me a sense of familiarity, however I sometime desire to.

✓ Umm, local views give me a sense of familiarity; however, sometimes I desire more variety.

Errors: 'local view' should be plural 'local views' to match general meaning. 'sometime' is incorrect; should be 'sometimes'. Sentence ends incomplete — 'desire to' needs an object. Suggestion: pluralize nouns for general statements, use adverb 'sometimes', and complete the thought by specifying what is desired (e.g., 'more variety').