Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Good content and clear idea, but improve grammatical accuracy, avoid repetition, and make sentences more concise. For example, change “create a great composition” to “creates a striking composition” and correct subject-verb agreement. Use one strong example and vary vocabulary (e.g., hues, tones).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing picturesque views. For example, I often capture sunsets because the warm orange and pink hues create a striking composition that looks dramatic against the skyline.

提案: Answer is relevant but a bit wordy and repetitive. Improve sentence structure and clarity: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one linked reason with a specific detail. Avoid vague phrases like “looks much better.”

例: I prefer urban views because in my city the contrast between skyscrapers and nearby mountains creates an interesting scene. For instance, at sunset the buildings and mountain silhouettes are highlighted by orange and pink tones, which makes photos more striking.

提案: Meaning is unclear due to incorrect word choice and grammar (“phoned” is wrong). Improve accuracy: use correct verbs (e.g., ‘familiar with’ or ‘fond of’) and make the comparison explicit. Add a specific example and correct collocations (“look good with” not “look with”).

例: I prefer views in my own country because I’m fond of Kazakhstan’s landscapes. For example, around Almaty the dramatic mountains sit close to modern skyscrapers, offering unique photo opportunities that you don’t always find abroad.

× For instance, I love taking pictures of sunsets because the combination of orange, red, and pink colors create a great composition.

✓ For instance, I love taking pictures of sunsets because the combination of orange, red, and pink colors creates a great composition.

Subject 'the combination' is singular, so the verb must be singular ('creates'). Suggestion: identify the true subject (combination) and ensure the verb agrees in number. Grammar problem type ID:27

× Honestly, I prefer an urban area view more because the skyscrapers and the mountains in my city create great composition, which also looks much better with the sunset that blends orange, pink and yellow colors together.

✓ Honestly, I prefer an urban view because the skyscrapers and the mountains in my city create a great composition, which also looks much better with the sunset that blends orange, pink, and yellow together.

Errors: unnecessary article 'an' before 'urban view' and missing article 'a' before 'great composition' (article error - ID 22). Also 'colors' after 'yellow' is redundant (word choice) and comma needed before 'and'. Suggestions: use 'an urban view' -> 'an urban view' is acceptable but more natural is 'an urban view' vs 'an urban area view'; here 'urban view' is clearer. Add 'a' before 'great composition' and remove redundant 'colors'. Grammar problem type ID:22

× I am phoned with the views in my country because Kazakhstan is very rich in nature and Almaty has huge mountains that perfectly look with the modern skyscrapers together.

✓ I am fond of the views in my country because Kazakhstan is very rich in natural beauty, and Almaty has huge mountains that look perfect together with the modern skyscrapers.

Errors: 'phoned' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'fond of' (incorrect use of adjectives/verbs - ID 13). 'Rich in nature' is awkward; 'rich in natural beauty' is clearer. 'Perfectly look with' is wrong word order and preposition; use 'look perfect together with' or 'look perfect alongside' (preposition error - ID 11). Suggestion: replace incorrect verb, choose natural collocations, and reorder phrase for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:13}]}TRGLibraries**atore** HallmarkNote**END**